Lifelong Love: 11 Signs Of A Strong Marriage

Lifelong Love: 11 Signs Of A Strong Marriage
Lifelong Love: 11 Signs Of A Strong Marriage

Video: Lifelong Love: 11 Signs Of A Strong Marriage

Video: Lifelong Love: 11 Signs Of A Strong Marriage
Video: 7 Signs Your Love Will Last a Lifetime 2024, March
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According to researchers from the University of California at Berkeley, the happiest married couples are those where a woman can quickly calm down after an argument. It turns out that our ancestors were right: it is the woman who is the keeper of the family hearth.

How to predict the prospects of a relationship? Which marriage will last forever and which one will have to be saved? MedAboutMe spoke with experts and highlighted the main signs of love "until the last breath."

1. You respect and trust your partner

Trust and respect for your partner are key to building strong, happy relationships. “Of course, over time, trust in a spouse can weaken due to mistakes made in the relationship. You may even have doubts, but do I trust him? But if you think that this person will not cover your back in difficult times, the marriage will not last long,”says psychotherapist Rachel Sussman.

2. You are each other's best friends.

It is believed that the best spouses are those who were once friends. But there is nothing wrong if a romantic relationship immediately began between you, the main thing is that there is a place for friendship. If you know how to be friends, you can always share your opinion with your partner and get a kind word in return, most likely your marriage will last forever.

3. You are kind to your partner.

Psychotherapist Rachel Sussman says that in her practice she saw many couples in which people treat each other badly. "The partner blames the other for selfishness and self-centeredness more often than you think."

But kindness will save the world! If you treat your loved one kindly, it will preserve the romantic relationship that was in the beginning.

4. You can discuss everything

Man is a social being, and communication is the key to a happy relationship. Bucca Colavole, MD, clinical psychologist, believes there are three important aspects to communication.

“First, you can be honest with your partner. Second, you are comfortable communicating with him. And third, the partner is ready to listen to you when needed,”says the expert. If this is the case in your relationship, you have nothing to fear!

Did you know?

A group of Swiss and British scientists have developed the formula for the perfect marriage. According to her, a man should be older than a woman, and a woman should be better educated.

If a woman is 5 or more years younger than a man, a couple is 6 times more likely to be married. Well-educated people have strong alliances, their risk of divorce is 2 times lower. If a woman has devoted more years to education and self-development than her husband, the likelihood of divorce is reduced by 8 times!

5. You describe how the day went

“Seeing a loved one in your partner with whom you can share a story or a curious observation is very important,” say psychotherapists Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz. - Having shared jokes and stories strengthens the marriage. That is why it is necessary to talk about even such ridiculous moments as a colleague at work got angry because someone drank Diet Coke from the shared refrigerator."

6. You Don't Count Efforts

Research shows that for a happy relationship, a man and a woman must make approximately equal contributions to the family. Household chores should be distributed equally so that no one pulls an unbearable burden.

“If so, you don't need to calculate who cares more about the family. And that makes you a happy couple. When efforts are counted, one person tends to be resentful,”says relationship expert and author of books on love Charles J. Orlando.

7. You still surprise each other

Boredom kills marriage, and therefore it is so important to engage in your own development, to try something new. Research has shown that couples who do new things together are happier in the long run.

That is why it is so important to try together what we have not yet had time to: dance, get out to the mountains, experiment in bed and break the beds in the country.

8. You are not afraid to argue

In an ideal relationship, lovers never fight and always hold hands. In ordinary cases, everything happens. But if after a quarrel, you or your partner find a compromise, apologize and move on, your marriage is “doomed” to eternal love.

But remember: the truth is not always born in disputes! Don't argue just for the sake of arguing.

By the way!

Statistics show that about half of all marriages end in divorce. At the same time, the main reason for breaking up relations is not cheating, as one might think.

Among the main reasons are the lack of privacy on social networks, different ways of resolving conflicts, the intervention of close relatives or former halves, unflattering comparisons, emotional or physical abuse, the unwillingness of one of the partners to have children, or the presence of children in a previous union.

9. You spend time together

Research shows that couples who spend a lot of time together tend to be happier. “At the beginning of a relationship, many couples go to new places, date each other. Because of this, "butterflies flutter in the stomach," says Scott Haltzman, MD, author of books on relationships. - Over time, couples can relax, and each of the spouses will begin to devote more time to themselves. But in order not to drive the marriage into a trap, we must continue to do something together."

10. You are making love

Intimate relationships are not the main thing in a marriage, but it is impossible without them. “If you notice that your attraction to your partner has diminished, this is a red flag that something serious is happening,” says Jaime Kulaga, Ph. D., family relations consultant. - Closeness is an important part of a healthy marriage. Without it, marriages end in divorce or are filled with anger and resentment."

11. Do you believe that love will last long

A 2011 study found that couples who believe their marriage will last for a long time tend to live together longer than those who don’t believe in love to the last detail.” And although the former also have difficult moments, they are looking for the resources to cope with them.

Expert commentary Ekaterina Tikhonova, practical psychologist

There are many signs that a marriage will be long and strong. I will name three of them.

The first sign is the compatibility of goals and ideas. For example, immigration to another country, common hobbies, interests, etc. To create joint projects, the couple forms a common foundation of the relationship, which is more important than minor disagreements.

The second sign is external and internal comfort. You are good together. You easily lead a common life, you have competently distributed family responsibilities and are happy with each other. You are psychologically relaxed in the company of your partner and think that you have met your person.

The third sign is intimate attraction. You like the look and smell of your partner, you feel attracted, and after intimacy there is a pleasant aftertaste and a desire to continue.

Expert commentary Lyubov Slastnikova, psychologist, writer

If your marriage looks like a blooming peony bush, chances are it won't last long. After the euphoria of the candy-bouquet period, there comes a meeting with reality. In reality, there is pain, resentment, misunderstanding, conflicts. This is where the “golden rule” comes into play - the desire to understand each other and accept without a pretty wrapper, as it is in the reality of everyday life.

A gross mistake is the expectation of "eternal happiness and peace" - there is no such thing in family life. It is conflicts that give impetus to the development and manifestation of one's true self. Then both partners, having overcome the crisis without insults and reproaches, reach a new level of their development and continue to build relationships.

Marriage is a voluntary work of two on oneself and on relationships. This is not taught and never told to young people. Young people are in the illusion of "eternal happiness", maybe that's why the maximum number of divorces occurs in the first two years? You can endlessly change partners, moving from one disappointment to another.

Marriage develops and survives through conflict. If there are no conflicts for a long time, it is worth considering: perhaps one of the partners found an outlet in another place (sports, work, etc.). Correctly conducted exit from the conflict revives the relationship, brings a fresh stream.

A wise woman can create a conflict between them nothing, gently get out of it and return passion to a relationship. Such a marriage, going up the steps of overcoming conflicts and recognizing a partner from a new side, has every chance of becoming eternal.

Expert commentary Petr Galigabarov, psychologist, member of the Association for Cognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy (ACP)

Whether your marriage will last forever, consider the opposite.

If your goals for starting a family differ dramatically (for example, you want children, but the other half does not), then the relationship is doomed to pain and suffering. Whether there will be a divorce depends on the spouses themselves, some are ready to endure discomfort.

If you are constantly trying to change your soul mate or constantly bend under it yourself - this is also a path of pain. Again, the choice of behavior depends on the individual. Accustomed to living in a codependent or counterdependent relationship will suffer, but pull the strap.

If you build an interdependent relationship based on unconditional acceptance of each other, then the relationship will be harmonious. Would you like to tear these apart?

Expert Commentary Lilia Levitskaya, Relationship Expert, Women's Transformation Trainer

There can be two options for very long marriages - good and bad. The bad thing is that both spouses are very afraid of condemnation, separation and change, and then they can live under the same roof as neighbors and not part. This couple will live first in scandals, and then in fatigue.

A good option is characterized by the following features:

1. Spouses have similar life values.

2. The spouses have built a dialogue and there is such a characteristic of communication as intimacy - the ability to communicate closely and have a paired personal field of interests.

3. Mutual respect and desire to make each other happy.

4. Emotional intelligence, which helps to go through various crisis moments in life together and development.

5. Each is a separately psychologically adult person who chooses to build relationships consciously, and not on a sense of duty.

In this, the second option, love in a pair will become more and more qualitative over the years.

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