I Changed. What To Do? Three Stages You Will Have To Go Through - Rambler / Female

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I Changed. What To Do? Three Stages You Will Have To Go Through - Rambler / Female
I Changed. What To Do? Three Stages You Will Have To Go Through - Rambler / Female

Video: I Changed. What To Do? Three Stages You Will Have To Go Through - Rambler / Female

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Clothes flew apart, the skin was on fire after kisses, the heart was ready to jump out of the chest, and there was not enough air Everything was so wonderful, passionate, bright, if not for one "but" - you just cheated on your man with another. And it is no longer so important what feelings and emotions you experienced at that moment, because the memories of caress and interweaving of bodies fade before the harsh look of conscience when treacherous guilt obscures everything around. What to do? Confess to your man? Say nothing, but find a reason to end the relationship? Just keep quiet? So many questions in your head that you think you can never handle it! But you still have to make a decision, but which one is correct? Julia Lanske, an expert in building relationships and love-coach 1 in the world according to the international iDate Awards 2019, will help you figure it out. I want to. Was it an accidental "fitness" with a stranger under the banner of surging passion or a thoughtful action with a lover whom you have known for several days - these are already trifles, compared to the feelings and emotions that are seething inside. What to do? First, you should calm down if you are overwhelmed by a wave of emotions and guilt, and then think it over rationally. It would be nice to stay alone with yourself for a couple of days, distance yourself from your man for this time (go on a business trip, to the country house, to a sanatorium, just rent a hotel room) and exhale. It is important for you to realize that cheating is an act that you have committed for one reason or another. And therefore, before making a decision - to confess, to part or to harbor, leaving everything as it is - you need to understand these reasons. Stage 1. Understand the reasons What pushed you to the left lane? What were you guided by? Was it a moment of weakness or a deliberate step? Often the reasons for female infidelity lie precisely in the relationship from which a woman is trying to escape by such adultery. Does your man treat you the way you dislike? Is he emotionally and physically indifferent? Or did you decide in this way to avenge his "side affairs"? Maybe your relationship has long been covered with a crust of ice? Or do your couple have problems that cannot be solved, although there have been really significant attempts? You no longer want to be faithful and, in principle, think about the relationship with this particular partner? Or have you fallen in love again and are sure that this is the same prince, destined for you by fate itself? Look inside yourself and analyze your action. Try to answer to yourself why you did this. Even if you think that the current relationship has become obsolete, maybe it's time to put an end to them? Indeed, in any case, betrayal is not only a betrayal of your partner, but also a self-destructive action, because one way or another the consequences will emerge in your memory, responding with remorse. Stage 2. Thoroughly understand the pros and cons of each option “What is good for one is bad for another” - have you heard this phrase? Therefore, it is difficult to recommend something to you, because all people, like couples, are individual. But before making a decision, you should understand all the pros and cons of each of the possible options. What will happen if I confess? The most risky option, because it is extremely difficult to predict the consequences.However, there are some pluses: - You don't have to hide anything and worry that the lie will be revealed; - As a result, you will carefully work out the reason for your betrayal (and the man will help you with this, because here, as in a quarrel, there are always two to blame); - There is a chance that your sincerity and efforts to restore relationships will be noticed and appreciated by a man. But if you choose this option, consider a few extremely important rules: - Do not bend under the man if he forgave you. Yes, the situation is not easy, but this does not mean that you should take a position lower than a man, grovel and allow a disrespectful attitude towards you; - Do not project your fault on your husband, that is, do not assume that he will repay you in kind; - Accept as a fact that the relationship after the betrayal will be completely different - not necessarily bad, they will just completely change. And also the fact that a long and difficult period of restoring trust awaits you - long conversations, admission of guilt, investigation of reasons, many provocations of jealousy, etc. From the point of view of my coaching experience, I would not advise you to choose this option, because for a man, forgiveness of female infidelity is compared to something impossible and beyond. Yes, and recognition of her oversight is more necessary for the woman herself, in order to get rid of guilt and shame eating from within, to shift responsibility and even share it with a man. The chances that the relationship after your recognition will persist, alas, tend to zero. What happens if you remain silent? As you might guess, this is the most frequent choice, because against the only minus - the fear that everything will be revealed, which can lead to suspicion on the verge of neurosis, there are pluses such as: - The ability to maintain a relationship; - You will not need to go through difficulties to restore trust in a couple; - You can take wisdom and experience from the situation and not allow it anymore. What happens if you break off the relationship? There will be one thing - a break in relations. And this option is suitable for those who understood the reasons for their betrayal (we discussed this above), and also realized that they would not be able to forgive themselves for the mistake. Telling a man that the situation took place is already an individual choice, but I would not advise doing this. If you choose this option, then follow the message of Grigory Leps "Leave in English", that is, without telling about your adultery. Step 3. Bring the decision to life Exhaling, gaining strength, showing courage and confidence, just take and do what you decide. But no matter what decision you make, it is important for you to let go of the guilt that gnaws from the inside. Whether you stayed in a relationship or not, this guilt can destroy self-esteem and self-confidence, reduce your self-worth in your own eyes, and the people around you read it very well and therefore treat you the way you treat yourself. In any case, what's done is done, but for the future, remember that it is quite possible to build relationships without betrayal, both on your own and on the part of a man. And for this you only need one thing - to learn not to bring the relationship to the reasons that push the gaze “to the left”. If you do not know how to achieve this, come to my open seminars and subscribe to social networks - I will always prompt, help and answer questions. We will be in touch and good luck! Your Julia Lanske YouTube Vkontakte Facebook Instagram Online consultations in matters of amorous

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