Sexual energy is the energy of life. With age, as a rule, it fades away, sexual attraction disappears. Women amuse themselves with the thought that after menopause there is no need to have sex, men after 50 years of age believe that doping is no longer necessary. What happens in a couple's sex with age and how to awaken their sexuality "AiF-Chelyabinsk" tells psychologist-sexologist Valeria Smirnova.
“Imagine an ideal spouse: they love each other, they have sex, but not the way a man would want. Everything is fine in a couple, there are no complaints and conflicts, but the wife simply does not want a husband, sexual arousal does not occur. There are a lot of such examples; by the age of 50, almost every couple is faced with such a problem. If everything is in order with health, then it is necessary to work on it from the psychological side."
According to the specialist, the main thing to do is to awaken your sexuality. You should start with love for yourself and your body, you need to accept yourself with all the flaws and shortcomings. Then it is necessary to determine the context in which the excitement appears, to remember what excited earlier.
“The details are very important here, maybe you liked how your partner smelled of daisies from the field, but now he is in the garage all the time and carries machine oil from him. In memory, it is necessary to resume all these reactions and try to reproduce. In addition, you need to work on tactile rapprochement. Touching well activates the processes of arousal. For example, you can try the ten hug technique. Figure out where and how to hug your partner. It is important to always hug in different ways."
The sexologist also advises talking with a partner about your fantasies and dreams, role-playing games and using toys for adults.
If you do not work on your sexuality, then other problems may appear in the family - betrayal.
“As a rule, by the age of 40, a very great tension arises in a relationship, associated with claims to each other. The tension is growing and one of the partners needs to be relieved, taken to the side. And then, if the partner's priority is to save the family, then the tension will subside and everything will be fine. If there is no such value, then the family appears on the side, the marriage falls apart. Therefore, you should iron out your claims and not breed conflict situations."
In public opinion, men over 60 are quite allowed to fall in love. And it is indecent for women over 50. And not only with us. 53-year-old actress Monica Bellucci says: “We live in a world of men, where Mick Jagger and Tom Jones are considered seductive, and Madonna in her underwear is already too much. Men want to see a lady after 50 sitting at home, best of all - at the stove for pastries."
“Sex is needed at any age,” says psychotherapist Andrei Babin. - Men and women alike. Of course, women traditionally treat him in the spirit that "I am already a grandmother, I no longer need anything." Nonsense. But we must make a reservation: sex is not as an end in itself, but as a body language through which one can say: you are mine, I am yours, we are together, we are of the same blood, etc. You cannot say much about love in words. Ladies who are 60-65 turn to me, and they talk about their current crush. It's very touching. Probably, it is not love itself that changes, but the forms of its manifestation become different. Beautiful notes appear. More romantic. And all this is mediated through sex. Sex is the most correct mechanism, perhaps, deep, when you say: the two of us are one."