What Is A "Boston Marriage" And Who Is It Suitable For

What Is A "Boston Marriage" And Who Is It Suitable For
What Is A "Boston Marriage" And Who Is It Suitable For

Video: What Is A "Boston Marriage" And Who Is It Suitable For

Video: What Is A "Boston Marriage" And Who Is It Suitable For
Video: Lesbian Marriage is Older Than You Think // Queer History 101 [CC] 2024, March
Anonim

Now in the speech of people again there is talk about such a thing as a Boston marriage. In the 19th century, the term was used for unions and homes where two women lived together, regardless of the support of the men. They shared the family budget, helped each other, and depended, accordingly, only on each other.

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Naturally, the question immediately arises - were such unions an elementary same-sex relationship. Historians say that some of them were exactly same-sex relationships, while others were categorically platonic and had no romantic and / or sexual connotations. Today, the term "Boston marriage" is sometimes used to describe one type of lesbian relationship - two women living together but not having sexual relations with each other. For example, one of them may be asexual, which, in principle, rejects any intimate relationships, but at the same time a woman can and wants to maintain a romantic relationship. However, sometimes this term is also used to refer to women who simply live together and lead a joint household.

The term "Boston Marriage" appears to have come into use after Henry James' book Bostonians was published, detailing the "marriage" relationship between two women who supported each other in a platonic relationship. At that time, these girls, who were not dependent on anyone, were called "new women", as they crossed out all the old traditions. Self-sustaining women most often lived off inherited wealth or earned a living as writers or pursued careers as professionals. Perhaps the most famous example of a Boston marriage is the relationship between two 19th century writers Sarah Orne Jewett and Annie Adams Fields. These "new women" are believed to have inspired Henry James' novel.

Were they lesbians? Was "Boston Marriage" just a code word for same-sex love? Historian Gillian Federman says it's impossible to determine because nineteenth-century women kept their privacy tightly locked. They didn't bother to mention if their enthusiastic friendship had turned into an intimate relationship. And the ladies, especially the wealthy, who at tea parties, taking a cup in their hands, protruded their little finger, presumably had no sexual attraction. Women in those days could share a bed, fool the audience and look into each other's eyes with enthusiastic loving love, but then they, even with such behavior, were considered no less innocent than ten-year-old children.

So, in theory at least, the Boston marriage had a model of a platonic relationship with bilateral support. Victorian “roommates” could do nothing for hours and then sit in leather chairs with a cup of tea and discuss the books they read, or, for example, politics. Their brains worked with the same passion as their hearts. This form of marriage often became more of a commonwealth with a political and conventional agenda than a semblance of marriage.

Most likely, the Boston marriage was not one specific thing, but quite a lot for women: business partnerships, artistic collaboration, same-sex romance. And sometimes it was a friendship, nurtured and praised with all the care that we usually want to give to our friends - friendship in the form it would have if we made it the center of our lives.

“I walk through the green alley to meet you, and my heart beats so that with this noise I can occupy my ears until dear Susie comes,” wrote Emily Dickinson. This phrase described her platonic friend - and possibly mistress - Sue Gilbert. Today, the tragedy in these words can be seen, because Sue was married to Emily's brother, and women never had a chance to build a life around their love. And yet it’s not that simple. When you read passionate letters between nineteenth-century women, you read about just how much richer Victorian friendships were. While the importance of sex has swelled to incredible proportions over the past hundred years, our friendships have become more stunted.

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