When I tried to find out from my acquaintances who sexaholics are, every second man replied that it was he and what could be written about him. Women were more modest and confessed exclusively to shopaholism. Both those and others slightly crooked souls.
The legend about the polygamy of men and partly women will live forever, but in our time the myth began to turn into a scientifically proven disease. And then it becomes no laughing matter. After all, the patient needs care, not scandals and divorces due to crazy spree and confessions of ten mistresses.
The example is contagious
The whole world is stunned by sex, everyone wants to be rich, famous and change partners like gloves. Before my eyes are examples of Michael Douglas, Tiger Woods, Kevin Costner, Jesse James (husband of actress Sandra Bullock, who, by the way, escaped from the clinic where he was being treated for piquant addiction), as well as many other unknown victims of sexual obsession.
Sex addiction is rapidly becoming one of the most common diseases of the 21st century. To date, according to researchers, about 5% of the world's population already suffer from this addiction, which is about 360 million people. Now you understand why sex addiction (along with binge eating) is even proposed to be included in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) - the American bible of mental illness.
PAUL, 30: I was a sex addict. I am 30 years old, I have a child and a wonderful wife, but I was still constantly looking for sex on the side. At first I just met women in bars and discos. Then he switched to prostitutes: it’s much easier than explaining to a girl for the hundredth time that you don’t want to date her anymore. It all looked like an obsession. In the end, I turned to the Center for Sexaholics Anonymous. After the course of rehabilitation, I have been "in the loop" for a year already.
He doesn't turn them on
A person who is susceptible to sex addiction often changes sexual partners and does not start a long-term relationship. He is not interested in emotions, but in sex as a ritual. Only sex. As much sex as possible. And it is desirable that it be varied, including sadomasochism, prolonged viewing of pornography and violent erotic fantasies in between. All interests of the patient are centered around the increasing number of intercourse, for which a partner is not always needed, porn films on the Internet will also come down.
As an excellent story about the behavior of a person susceptible to this addiction, you can recall the movie "Sexaholic" with Michael Douglas in the title role. His hero constantly apologizes for his sins to his daughter, but adds that he cannot change anything, despite the fact that his life is crumbling before our eyes.
In direct dependence
Scientists argue that the causes of sex addiction, as always, are in mental problems. Victims of the disease are not sure of themselves, and bed victories give them a reason to be proud. Addiction can also be the result of childhood harassment or lack of affection. Children hunted by friends and not accepted into the company can subsequently prove to themselves their worth, endlessly changing partners. That is, it turns out that an ordinary inferiority complex can lead to this obsession.
Sex addiction is called not a disease, but an addiction, because it is akin to alcoholism and drug addiction: the victim of an ailment craves another portion of sex, gets a second's pleasure and again strives for a new dose. In contrast to the listed addictions, sex addiction usually does not lead to dire physical consequences, except for the consequences of unprotected sex. But the moral side of the issue suffers.
LARISA, 28: I love sex, and I want it more and more. I easily get to know each other, go to the guys' homes, sometimes even participate in group orgies, but in the morning I can't get rid of the feeling that I've gotten dirty in the mud. During intercourse, I am at the height of bliss, but then I want to die of shame and the realization that no one really needs me. I don’t tell my family and friends, but they have already begun to guess about my addiction.
In the meantime, researchers, as always, are complicating things and theorizing. Recently, Israeli scientists have found a gene that is responsible for arousal. Professor Richard Epstein believes that genes play an important role in the development of a sex addict. This means that there are people for whom sex is more important than for others. "Honey, I have nothing to do with it, I have a congenital gene mutation!" How do you like this excuse?
But what if sex addiction is just a good excuse to present yourself as a poor, sick sheep? They say, forgive me, dear and beloved wife and children, your father is terminally ill with sex addiction and, being in a state of passion, makes love to everyone. I don’t know how it happened, I confess I didn’t understand myself. Probably, some kind of virus overtook me. And before the frying pan sits on my head, I'll probably go to a rehab clinic. There, perhaps, I will find like-minded people.
VASILY, 29: It sounds pretentious, but lust really rules me. Sex has become the main goal of my life. I masturbate every free minute, even at work. I download porn in huge quantities, order prostitutes, meet girls on the web, use the services of phone sex. But the worst thing is that I go further and further. I was already thinking about oral sex with a man, although I am not gay.
How to tell a simulator from a sex addict?
SEXOHOLICS LIVE AN UNUSUAL LIFE
Real sexaholics cease to control their behavior, which negatively affects all areas of their life. A person thinks only about sex, talks exclusively about it, behaves too relaxed and is always tuned in to sexual intercourse.
SEXOHOLIC NO ONE TO BE ENJOYED
He doesn't care who he sleeps with. The victim of sex addiction is not haunted by the image of a school teacher or your best friend, so the possibility of a permanent mistress is excluded: the person is obsessed only with sex and does not feel romantic feelings at the same time.
SEXYHOLY UNDERSTANDS HE IS SICK
Indiscriminate connections and a large number of partners are not accepted by society, so the victims of vice withdraw into themselves, fall into depression and eventually admit that they have a problem that needs to be solved. In such cases, you need to talk to the person, listen to his confession, and then try to help him without pressure on him. Centers that treat sex addiction say that the support of loved ones is very important for patients.
P. S. After undergoing treatment in an expensive clinic, ex-sex addict David Duchovny repented of his behavior and realized that the family is the best thing in his life. Now he claims that sex addiction is nothing more than fornication and debauchery. Of course, not everything is so simple, but you always need to fight your addictions - especially when those around you are ready to support you in this struggle.
Commentary by sexologist Oleg Gulko
Sex addiction refers to a mental pathology called addictive behavior disorder. Both men and women are susceptible to this condition. The main symptom is the inability to control your behavior. One of the possible causes of addiction may be actions that lead to early puberty and an emphasis on sex. Sex addiction should not be confused with such physiological conditions as hypersexuality and high sexual constitution.
Hypersexuality is a phenomenon associated with increased testosterone production in the developing body, through which many men go through puberty.
A high sexual constitution is a serious need for sexual intercourse, in which sexual interest does not become dominant. For a sex addict, all hobbies are concentrated exclusively around sex, and it takes more and more time to satisfy these interests. Sex is no longer just a source of pleasure, but a means of satisfying neurotic needs. In this state, sexual intercourse with an unattractive partner is possible, several times a day, etc. For those who cannot find a real partner, sex turns into a virtual one (telephone, computer, etc.).
Since sex addiction is a mental pathology, it should be treated by specialists in the field of the psyche, preferably in a comprehensive manner, with the involvement of a sexologist, psychotherapist, psychologist.
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