Despite the forecasts of Western analysts, who predicted a global increase in divorces around the world a couple of months ago, most Russian couples are still happy together.
According to a survey by the research center of the Superjob.ru portal, quarantine strengthened twice as many families than it destroyed. Nearly one in five Russians believes their marriage has improved, and 13 percent of respondents say the self-isolation regime has helped to understand that their life partner is the best person in the world. 58 percent say that self-isolation has not affected their family union in any way.
“Indeed, there were concerns that the number of divorces due to quarantine could increase,” says sociologist Aleksey Yegorov. - Many spouses almost for the first time found themselves alone with each other for a long time, and not on a pleasant trip, but within the four walls of the apartment, where they used to meet only in the evenings. And then incomes are falling, plans for rest, shopping are thwarted, uncertainty, anxiety oppress, life becomes more complicated.
All this, of course, is a serious test. It is not for nothing that they say: to live life is not to cross a field. Many were not ready for this. At first, of course, I had to get used to it, build a new system of relationships. And now, after almost two months of quarantine, these are the results. But I think they are not accidental.
Many married couples in a metropolis break up because of the daily hustle and bustle, which does not give time for communication, pronouncing certain grievances, claims. Self-isolation has changed these conditions. But, judging by the results of the survey, only four percent admitted that things are still bad in their families. This means that the rest had a chance that they could take advantage of.
Of course, not everything went smoothly at first. The network, which became almost the only source of information exchange about the weather in the house, literally seethed with indignant posts of women who faced the faithful face to face at the hearth.
A survey conducted by one of the women's portals immediately stated: according to the majority of women, a husband on self-isolation is another child in the family. Moreover, it requires constant attention, regardless of what the spouse is busy with: cooking, remote lessons with the elder or playing with the younger. However, the women found a way out of this situation rather quickly by sending “one more child” to the nursery. And then it turned out that there was no better nanny in the world.
- You should have seen how my Kostik is busy with the kids, - says the Muscovite Daria Tishina. - I, of course, sometimes flinch from screams and rumbles. But the sons are delighted with daddy's quirks. And he, two meters tall, clearly gets a thrill from pillow battles. And most importantly, I have a time when no one pulls or distracts. It turns out that we have a wonderful dad! And who would have thought At one of the forums, Russian women were asked to tell what annoys them during the period of self-isolation. As it turned out, the complaints are mainly related to the need to constantly cook and diversify the menu.
Which is also understandable: the townspeople working in their usual conditions are accustomed to having dinner outside the house, when today you can take one thing in a cafe, and another tomorrow. At home, the opposite is true: it is easier for the hostess to cook a bucket of soup for a week, one at a time. Well, the men snorted for a couple of days at the monotony. And they themselves rushed to the kitchen. According to statistics, self-isolation in general increased the involvement of men in household chores, with the vast majority of husbands expressing a willingness to share responsibilities in the kitchen with their wife.
And here are the realities of the day: “My husband suddenly became perfect,” writes a Muscovite Tatiana P. at one of the women's forums.- He has changed a lot: he does what he has never done before, pampers, makes me happy, takes care of me and the children. I don’t understand - why did it suddenly, after 10 years of married life, come to me with such happiness?”
The first few answers fired, apparently, reflexively: "Stopudovo - a mistress!" Like, guilt is the reason for everything. But women's logic is invincible: "Now it's quarantine, there's no time for betrayal." As a result, it was decided by a majority of votes: "So, I realized that I love!" By the way, men on self-isolation are more likely to admit their admiration for their other half than women. Moreover, at the beginning of self-isolation, the spouses stretched out on the couch were glad that the wife had time to do everything around the house and, most importantly, it turned out that she could!
- I didn't even imagine that my favorite borscht from Sveta would turn out better than in the cafeteria, - neighbor Victor boasted to me. - No, she cooked, of course. But here, can you imagine, she even baked donuts with garlic! I then, I must confess, sympathized with Svetka. And the other day I was looking - the courier was carrying a bouquet of roses to the entrance. And exactly to the neighbor's apartment! Those, apparently, did the miracles of the donut. By the way, the statistics of online orders on this topic are also encouraging: flowers with home delivery have suddenly become especially in demand in the capital in the last two months.
Most of the buyers are men. And this despite the fact that all kinds of cosmetic gadgets are not in demand among women today. “I sit at home, let my skin rest from cosmetics, and I’ll save money,” women explain this turn quite logically. And one would assume that when they see their beloved without makeup, our men will be horrified But no. It turned out that husbands prefer to contemplate the faithful in a cozy dressing gown rather than in full dress and war paint.
“My wife runs a department in one firm,” says Anton Marshevsky, a Muscovite. - And when I came home from work, I wanted to line up or crawl to the far corner. And as she sat down at home, she became real - her own, dear, cozy. At first, out of habit, she turned on the command voice, and then, when she saw that I was not interfering with her work, I was doing my homework with my daughter, she became herself. The one I married twenty years ago. Cheerful, shaggy, with freckles. I forgot about them - usually, after all, the spouse covers her face with a tone. And then they went to the store with her, I have another discovery - what beautiful eyes my Anna has! The mask emphasizes them. Believe it or not: they stood on the street for five minutes and just looked into each other's eyes.
There were also a lot of male revelations on the network during self-isolation. But even in them there is no particular criticism of wives: perhaps he “grumbles out of habit” and “does not like to cook”. But there are more than enough compliments! Husbands are sincerely happy that their wives turned out to be excellent companions and good companions in watching TV series. Moreover, the opportunity to "quietly, peacefully talk on a variety of topics" is noted as a huge plus of life in quarantine for both men and women.
- Self-isolation made it possible for spouses to appreciate each other precisely in the role of wife, husband, - comments psychologist Lyudmila Fedotova. - Having fully tried on these social roles, many people for the first time understood what family life is, appreciated the importance of family ties. And how many old people were saved from illness and loneliness during a pandemic because they were not forgotten, as in other countries, both the state and their relatives - children and grandchildren - worried about them equally. Thus, the Russian society voted that our fortress is a family that rests on the unification of hearts, and not on financial resources. It turned out to be more important for us.
According to VTsIOM, just like six months ago, the majority of Russians (81 percent) feel, on the whole, to one degree or another happy people. The main reasons for happiness are the respondents named family, having children, their own well-being and the health of loved ones.
HOW DO THEM
The Malaysian government was forced to issue an apology after the Department of Women's Support published a series of tips on how the country's women should behave at home during self-isolation.
In particular, they were advised to keep wearing makeup, dress like work, and not bother men with whining. Women considered such advice sexist, and the agency had to remove them from its website.