The "Madonna And The Harlot" Complex: How It Interferes With Women

The "Madonna And The Harlot" Complex: How It Interferes With Women
The "Madonna And The Harlot" Complex: How It Interferes With Women

Video: The "Madonna And The Harlot" Complex: How It Interferes With Women

Video: The "Madonna And The Harlot" Complex: How It Interferes With Women
Video: Is the Madonna-Whore Complex a Problem for Men? 2024, March
Anonim

It would seem that we live in the 21st century, and everyone has safely forgotten about the characteristics according to Freud. We think in new categories and are open to new things. But there is at least one Freudian definition that has proven to be far more tenacious than all the others.

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This is the complex that is most often called the "Madonna and the Harlot" complex. It was first described in psychology by Sigmund Freud as the idea that men (and women) divide women into two camps: holy "Madonnas" and humiliated "harlots." Good girls - Madonnas - are virtuous, innocent, pure and virgin, almost to the point of asexuality. Bad girls who are harlots are sexually insatiable, indiscriminate, and aggressive. Most often, stereotypically masculine qualities are used to describe their sexuality.

According to Sigmund Freud, this all stems from the idea that men are concerned about seeking maternal affection in their sexual partner. Since they cannot tolerate the Oedipus complex (love for the mother mixed with sexual desire), they divide women into two categories.

However, this dichotomy has existed for centuries, long before Freud. The separation of the saint, the non-sexual woman and the woman as a sexual being, is everywhere. Medieval literature and poetry is replete with depictions of sexy women, fallen men, and, in contrast, pure and innocent women as examples of "right" behavior.

Men have often been portrayed (and are portrayed) as being unable to control their sexual desires - therefore women remain as guardians of morality, regardless of their desires. The definition of acceptable (Madonna) and unacceptable (harlot) female sexuality creates the illusion of control. At the same time, such a division interferes with building healthy relationships - it is believed that love is intended for "good" girls, and it is better to have sex with "bad" ones. When one partner blindly fulfills the requirements of society and tries to meet all expectations from his sexuality and behavior, while the other is looking for different "functions" in different people, betrayal and omissions appear. There is a feeling of guilt for their actions, which is only reinforced by condemnation from the outside.

It is easy to think of this as an “old world” problem - women’s sexuality, they say, is freed from stereotypes, its manifestation is encouraged. Yet this dichotomy still exists. Women who are considered "too sexy" are frowned upon for being "harlots." It is enough to be “Madonna” in order not to get AIDS or not get pregnant - this is what the state and social advertising say. A man must fulfill the roles assigned to him by society - otherwise he will not be considered a man.

But this problem concerns not only women; there is also a reverse side of it - the "Knight and the libertine" complex. In this case, there is a conflict between the woman's demands for a partner - a "knight" who will ensure her comfortable and safe life, and a sexual partner - a "libertine" who can satisfy any sexual desires. These qualities, by the way, found their excellent embodiment in the image of Christian Gray from the most popular erotic saga "50 Shades of Gray" - the image of a millionaire who, unknown as he practically does not devote time to work, but spends it with his chosen one.

How to deal with this? First you need to understand that all people are multifaceted and complex. Nobody can be reduced to one "role" and build your expectations based solely on it. The division between “good” and “bad” guys and girls is a relic of a time and culture that no longer exists. As actress Susan Sarandon said: “Is the choice really worth it: either you are a well-read touch-up, or a passionate whore? It seems to me that there is always a way to combine."

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