How To Keep Your Marriage Alive

How To Keep Your Marriage Alive
How To Keep Your Marriage Alive

Video: How To Keep Your Marriage Alive

Video: How To Keep Your Marriage Alive
Video: Maximum Effort, How to keep you marriage alive 2024, March
Anonim

Blogger Morena_morana shares his thoughts on sex, relationships, love. Welcome to the world of secret desires and violent passions!

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I'm sure sex is to blame more than half the time. Or rather, its absence in its normal form (not five minutes in a missionary position or doggy style). As soon as you stop having sex on the chandelier, in the closet and on the rug in the hallway, three monsters begin to encroach on your marriage: COMPARISON, SHIFTING OF RESPONSIBILITIES, and RUTIN. Let's take a look at each one.

Comparison makes us blind in one eye. As soon as the wife comes home and takes off her bra, she begins to whisper in her ear: "And Ivanova lives better!" And he shows her pictures from Ivanovsky Instagram. Here is Ivanova with children against the background of sea blue. Here she is with a gorgeous bouquet. And now in new earrings. But after all, often in families where not everything is safe, periods of betrayal, violence and abuse are replaced by a honeymoon. So that champagne like a river, armfuls of flowers and fireworks, "so that everyone is jealous." Looking at other people's fireworks is the last thing when you don't know what's inside.

Shifting responsibility makes us weak-willed and apathetic. It gives us the illusion that everything in our life would be much better if our spouse was not around. It seems to the man that if it were not for his wife and children, then a crowd of young hungry top models would have lined up in front of his door, wanting a "relationship without commitment." It seems to the woman that if it were not for her husband, she would receive gorgeous bouquets, invitations to restaurants and trips to the beautiful islands with azure satin on a private jet every day.

When life does not go well, your own successes are not enough, then the temptation is great to blame everything on someone else. Like, he is bad, stupid and pulls us down like a stone. Farts into the sofa, stains the rim of the toilet and walks around the house in a greasy robe. And I'm Harley Quinn / Batman. But the bitter truth is that the Batman family is not a hindrance, but a help.

The most insidious monster is routine. It is dangerous because it is invisible, it enters life imperceptibly, day after day. Everything seems to remain the same: words, kisses, gestures. But every day the soul is more and more filled with despondency, and the heart - with longing. I want to cheer up. See something else. Kiss someone else. Many couples got burned on this. Even those who were madly in love once. But there is one cure. When a person is inspired, passionate about his favorite hobby or favorite work, he wants new things, not bodies. And he is able to find new and new shades in his wife for years and decades.

Money and pussy

Most divorces - about 80% of cases - are initiated by women. This figure is often used for manipulation - they say, look, they themselves do not know what they want. First they are eager to get married, then - to get divorced! It is necessary to prohibit divorces, especially to women, then there will be peace and quiet, but God's grace. Ahaha!

- I will never marry you! I'd rather eat my passport in front of the registry office! - said Arkady Ukupnik twenty years ago from all TV sets in the country.

Now he has been replaced by new young talents, but the rhetoric has remained the same: a woman is dragging to the registry office, and a man either reluctantly trudges, because she “really wanted” or “took on the belly,” or even resists a little. And if you think globally, then it is easy to notice that in the Russian language there is the word "baked", but there is no word "baked".

A few centuries ago, the decision to marry was made by the parents based on their life experience. In Soviet times, couples got married, choosing each other by mutual consent and love, or so as not to be subjected to moral condemnation. And only now it is believed that only a woman is interested in creating a family and preserving a home. Somehow it suddenly turned out that all responsibility for finding a partner, maintaining the climate within the family and getting out of family crises fell only on women's shoulders. Guess what I'm getting at? It is impossible to build anything good if you did not make a decision voluntarily and consciously, but reluctantly subscribed to the "Family" project, because "she decided so."

Another sad truth is that most men still believe that their main responsibility is to bring money to their families. On this basis, they want to be provided with a comfortable psychological environment in the house. But here's the paradox - not only mammoth hunters claim to be an object of home worship and veneration. Sometimes a man brings home not even a mammoth, but a tattered cat. Or even serves with his wife in the same organization and receives the same salary. But the requirement to “keep the hearth” is not going away. It's like the story of the second shift, when both go to work, but the woman is also required to manage the house and take care of the children.

Remember the famous anecdote about pussy, when a lot of everything was required from a man, and only “this very thing” was required from a woman? The semantic pair of pussy for many men is the salary. They want a lot of everything, but in return they are ready to offer only a salary (again, not always such that they can fly in business class at least once a year). This is despite the fact that the wife goes to work and will not die of hunger.

I'm not saying that all couples live this way. I also know modern, advanced people who have learned to distribute responsibilities among themselves. In their families, mutual support and love reign. But there are also many families where all responsibility for the psycho-emotional state of both lies with the woman, and only with her. There, the reality looks like this: while a woman takes out the family on her shoulders, pulls it out, the family is preserved. As soon as a woman gets tired of solving problems alone, the family collapses.

This is exactly what the terrible figure of 80% means. It is often unfair that responsibility for the family is shared. It seems to me that if men considered marriage and home hearth to be as important for themselves as, for example, work, this figure would be much lower. And then there would be no comparison, shifting of responsibility and routine that can eat away at your family pan like rust - without a chance of recovery.

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