Sex Is Not Fun

Sex Is Not Fun
Sex Is Not Fun

Video: Sex Is Not Fun

Video: Sex Is Not Fun
Video: The Sex Pistols - No Fun - 1/14/1978 - Winterland (Official) 2024, March
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Just don't talk about a midlife crisis. It usually begins in a man at the age of 13, and ends only in the grave. So it's pointless. Let's talk about what awaits you after middle age. It will be very soon. In general, the time comes very soon. And leaves.

I can already see hysterics out of the corner of my eye among fellow publicists, who in recent years considered themselves young, and then bam - already over forty and soon fifty dollars. And this does not fit into their heads at all - after all, everyone thinks that everything is ahead of them. But no. And I already see real fear in posts on social networks: everything ends so quickly, and behind me is only a pile of rather meaningless texts. And even if someone remembers them someday, then, most likely, these works will resemble a pile of ash.

And this pre-fifty-year generation is trying to somehow stake itself out, to escape from decay, try to speak out loudly, climb into every television hole. Funny and sad.

Calm down, you will not return youth. It's time to understand that the breeze is slowly blowing away the stamens from your dandelion pistil, which you used to call your head. And do not rush about the village yard in the manner of a rooster - the ax is already sharpened and the boiling water is already gurgling.

And, okay, do not strain, I already drove all this fifteen years ago and I look at you with moderate pity and a malicious smile, like “guys, what else awaits you in the next ten years, if, of course, you don’t die from drunkenness …"

The reasons for drunkenness, however, will also be many - it is a faithful companion of disappointment. You will try to look for clues in your past life to try to prevent your future old age from being devalued. All the same heap of ashes that you call your work, some women of varying degrees of matrimony, someone will look after the fact-meaning in how many countries he devoured at the local McDonald's.

But even here an ambush will await - it will turn out that sex is deeply overestimated. Vile cinematography and no less vile literature have simply powdered your brains and put pressure on the gonads: there is nothing exciting there. And all the time that you spent in your life on inviting some individuals to the bed, on the bed itself and out of the bed, could be spent on learning a couple more languages or a few more books you read.

What is sex? Disgusting: someone under you, the same sweaty, stupidly giggles and squeaks, you pose as a sexual giant, but in reality you are just cosplaying a paperweight. Rolling on the belly. On his or hers. Or his. If anyone else remembers here what a paperweight is.

And in ninety percent of the countries where you burst so much, and it was not worth going - all around the degenerate local population, stupid food and fake drinks. And there is absolutely nothing to write home about. And there is no one.

Then you have to justify your existence with children, but this is the last thing. Absolutely. In addition, they will soon grow up and instead of listening with their mouths open, your bedtime stories will, like classic teenagers, throw donuts at you.

And then they will grow up altogether, and go into gamers, IT specialists, riot police and drug addicts. And only your ex-wife will be brainwashing them - and she will definitely become an ex. Because women are even more passionate in trying to justify their coming old age with their children. Like an achievement. Although, as you know, a bad thing is not tricky. I had to protect myself.

And maybe on some gloomy evening, overwhelmed by ambivalence - listen to Coin in the kitchen or go to the pub to glue the local waitress - you will finally understand that the time of cowboys is over for you. That it's time to look in the mirror and make an appointment with a beautician. Tidy up the gray shreds on your head and start aging with dignity. The key word is "with dignity."

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