Sometimes, in a conversation with nice people, you involuntarily notice the glazed gaze of the interlocutor, in which it is clearly visible that he does not care what you say to him, and in order to get rid of you as soon as possible, he pretends that someone is calling him and moves away … It's a shame. But the interlocutor is not at all to blame for the fact that you are so boring and not interesting, all the fault is on you. If nature has deprived you of charisma, you will have to work on it yourself.
Develop new skills
Make sure other people find you interesting. It will make you feel useful in any situation. Therefore, start developing any skills. It doesn't matter what interests you: sewing and sewing courses or NLP. Thus, there will always be a person who will need you, be it a transgender friend who is embarrassed to go to women's clothing stores and asks you to sew him a dress, or an aspiring businessman who needs a person who is versed in psychology.
Show a craving for knowledge
When you quote someone else's opinion, the interest in you drops sharply. Why communicate with a person who repeats the text of some famous book, voices annoying dogmas, etc. Would you be interested in a person who just repeats your words? It is much more interesting to communicate with a person who seeks and generates new ideas, shares his unique experience. Such people are drawn to, such people and lead the seething crowds of revolutionaries. Therefore, when reading even such an interesting person as Slavoj ižek, try to think over every word, and not yell that he is a genius. Try to explain and express what you read in your own language.
Tell a good story
What is the use of information and experiences if you cannot share them with others? Therefore, you need to become a storyteller in order to make even the most boring story interesting for the interlocutor. Pay attention, the most popular and demanded people are always clowns and jokers, who manage to turn an ordinary story about a hike for bread into an exciting story. It is not necessary to lie and come up with a ridiculous heresy about dragons and the asparagus man - everything that is needed is described in detail in a separate article. By the way, those who like to do unnecessary research conducted another one, in which they found out that women love males who can speak beautifully and interestingly. Indeed, a very livable skill.
Surely you have a seed of doubt, and you, remembering your tongue-tied language and lack of imagination, have already decided to leave this talent for later. Take your time, just have 3 stories for all occasions. Let it be a real incident or a fucking anecdote from "Gorodok" with its own interpretation, the main thing is that it is not a prehistoric fact from the frescoes of the Chinese Qin dynasty, written by the ancient philosopher Fu Bayan. Therefore, rework each story, add your own and rehearse like a real stand-up before the show. However, all this is written in the link above.
Listen and show compassion
This idea was popularized by Dale Carnegie in 1936 after his bestselling book How to Win Friends and Influence People. He wrote, "You can make more friends in two months by showing interest in other people than in two years by trying to get other people to take an interest in you." Therefore, listen to others carefully and treat their problems with some compassion to understand their motives and actions. Few of us are really good at this - selfishness interferes with delving into human problems, but when a person meets a sincere and interested interlocutor, he involuntarily treats him with greater reverence than a simple acquaintance or even a friend. After all, we are all, in fact, weak-willed creatures, and we need a person who could understand and accept us.
Ask good questions
At the party, even if everyone is extinguished to the state known as “the people in the plot of the movie Bittersweet,” try not to talk too much about yourself, even if you really want to be remembered. It will be much better to drag the other person into a deep conversation about their lifestyle. Ask, as necessary, of course, about their priorities, find out how people live, and so on. Try to listen to the answers, and not ask for a tick, then just as thoughtfully discuss what you heard, not trying to offend the person. By the end of the evening, you will be remembered as one of the most interesting conversationalists they have ever met along the way. Do not hesitate to ask seemingly simple questions and do not try to look like a know-it-all, otherwise your ignorance will come out.
Say what you think
It is very, very boring with people who do not express their opinion, even if it does not even coincide with other points of view. But you will be remembered for your firm position. And instead of teaching tons of abstruse topics, lean on what you know and understand. Then there will be no awkward pauses, misunderstandings, and other awkward moments. Although, of course, you should avoid those awkward moments when everyone talks about zucchini, and you start about boots.
Read a lot
Books develop thinking, increase vocabulary and add knowledge. This is a completely indisputable fact, so it is difficult to find an area in which reading would not be useful. Among other things, they can replace teachers, travel and even college education. After all, it is not necessary to travel all over the world to know how they live on the other side of the world. A book is a door to other, even if distant, worlds.
By the way, an interesting fact: people who read a lot of science fiction have a better compassion and understanding of others. And don't limit yourself to books alone. Various blogs, online magazines, articles are also useful to read. It's another matter that some of them contain complete heresy.
Don't hide your sense of humor
Tell me, with whom would you prefer to communicate: with a boring boring specialist in all spheres of life or with a cheerful and witty patient who does not push his knowledge outward? It seems that the answer is obvious. So draw your own conclusions: a sense of humor is better than even a promise to give an interest-free loan. In addition, for wit, at least some presence of brains is necessary, which means that you are automatically ranked among the clever and reasonable.
Spending time with interesting people
Your environment has a huge impact on your person. If you are in the company of boring, disgruntled, or overly serious people, you will most likely soon become as unpleasant as they are. Therefore, try to choose that interesting company that is close to you yourself (some of the nerds are comfortable), and ideally is able to make you even better. And while you are hanging out in a company that does not appreciate you, you simply degrade. After all, you yourself understand who and when influences you badly, don't you? Therefore, challenge yourself and others, look for "your" people, because everyone has a "big-name" person with whom it is good to communicate, hang out, share their worldview and outlook on life. The guarantee that you will find people who interest you and who are interested in you is almost 100%, you just need to start looking for them.