Who dines the girl, he dances her? Is it always necessary to pay for a woman in a cafe and restaurant, to fill up with gifts, to take to the seas. Russia is a Eurasian country. The patriarchal traditions of the East and the equal rights of the West are intertwined in a bizarre "ball".
There are different opinions. Some argue that equality has already arrived. Women work on an equal footing with men, so they "dine" and "dance" themselves. Others argue: a woman is a woman - no matter how much she earns, she needs gifts and treats.
News.ru asked a feminist, a Vedic woman and two psychologists for their opinion on this matter. Surprisingly, psychologists were the most categorical of all. And the follower of the Vedic teachings allowed the woman to pay for herself.
Maria Arbatova, feminist:
Where did the idea come from that you have to pay for a woman? Because a woman doesn’t work, doesn’t earn money, and, as it were, is a second-class person. Therefore, when a man pays, it very often ends with his claim: I paid, you are obliged to enter into a close relationship with me. Therefore, a woman, agreeing to pay her bill, as it were, agrees to an intimate continuation. If they paid equally, then no one owes anything to anyone. If he wants, he will enter; if he wants, he will not. I believe that the future lies precisely with equality, the wheel of history turns in this way. We live in a post-industrial society and look up to Europe, not Asia, even if many say the opposite
Lyudmila Polyanova, candidate of sociological sciences, psychologist, psychoanalyst, director of the psychological center “Personality:
Despite the modern, fashionable talk, I am for the difference in genders. It must be respected, it is so arranged by nature. A man is born a man in order to realize his masculinity, a woman is born a woman in order to realize her femininity. Earning, a career, making money - these are the tasks of a man. The simplest thing a man does is pay for a woman. Then, on an unconscious level, she understands that there is a real man in front of her. And if some problem happens, he will not offer her to split the responsibility in half. Such patriarchy is convenient and pleasant for a woman. Pay for a joint trip - what's the big deal? In it, a man enjoys the company of a woman whom he himself has chosen. A happy life will be life only when we correctly distribute roles in a couple. Women should use their secondary, which nature has given us.
Saona, the witch (interprets the Vedas) clairvoyant:
According to the Vedic teachings of different peoples, earning money falls on the crying of men. But the Vedas admit a situation when a woman takes on the male functions of the earner, and the man performs the functions of the house. The key point in this in everything - the spouses must take into account the interests of each other. The man still remains the head of the family and the last word is with him. All of the above applies only to those people who are officially married. If they are just getting ready to start a family, these rules do not apply to them. No one owes nothing to nobody. You can look after, but a man is not obliged to pay for everything. And to fall asleep with gifts - too. Nowhere else is there such a thing abroad. This is our Russian notion, it has nothing to do with the Vedas.
Valentin Denisov-Melnikov, clinical psychologist, body therapist:
Should a man pay for a woman? It all depends on what kind of relationship a man and a woman are in now, and what joint plans they have. If this is a business communication, then everyone can pay for themselves. It's another matter if these are some ritual actions before moving on to a closer relationship. It is acceptable if a man just invited him to a cafe once without continuing.But if he invites you to an expensive restaurant several times, it obliges you. In this case, if a woman agrees to pay her bill, it will look strange if she refuses to have sex. I recommend that you immediately indicate your positions, negotiate "on the shore". If a woman does not agree to intimacy in principle, it is necessary to explain this to the partner in advance. In general, of course, if a man is caring for a woman and wants a relationship with her, he must pay the bill. If he earns little, you need to balance your strengths and invite those women who are comfortable enough to where he is comfortable for money. Chop the tree by yourself.