Why Half Of Marriages End In Divorce

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Why Half Of Marriages End In Divorce
Why Half Of Marriages End In Divorce

Video: Why Half Of Marriages End In Divorce

Video: 15 REASONS Why 50 Percent of Marriages End in DIVORCE 2022, December

A businessman and a public figure, vice-president of the International Academy of Kindness (yes, there is one) Arkady Pekarevsky explores the question of why all happy families are similar to each other, and unhappy ones are unhappy in their own way. It turned out shorter than Tolstoy's Anna Karenina.


Born and having lived all my life in St. Petersburg, I observed a huge number of relationships in our beloved city: both family relationships and those that did not become such. And he always said to himself: "how they (the relationship) are similar, and at the same time, how they all differ from each other." The question of the relationship between the sexes arises for every man. And the most amazing thing is that no one can say exactly at what age this happens. Rather, at what age of childhood. And the questions are all the same:

1. How to meet the love of your life (or at least most of it). Well, or just meet a girl who will make you want to move mountains;

2. How to make this relationship last forever (well, or at least a month, a week, or at least continue after the first sex);

3. How to ensure that relationships bring joy, so that they do not fade away, do not strain, do not turn into a burden.

Once upon a time in math lessons, teachers told us that simple equations can be with one unknown or with two unknowns. But the question of the relationship between the sexes is an equation with all unknowns.

Every man wants to have one family for life

Unfortunately, I have met in St. Petersburg not very many married couples who have lived their lives together and happily. Or maybe it would be more correct to say - we lived in harmony. But in the city of Leningrad, especially before perestroika, almost all of our parents and grandparents lived together all their lives. But whether happiness is in harmony is a big, big question. Most often, the strength of marriages was determined by the financial impossibility of building an alternative everyday life for a man who left his family: there was simply enough money only to maintain a more or less decent level of existence in one. And a divorced person was considered in society to be somehow inferior.

But by the mid-1990s, unfortunately, there was a tendency for a regular change of families: it became possible to create and provide for two or more houses. However, financial opportunities are far from always determining whether you will live your whole life in one family or in several at once. After all, it seems to me, subconsciously, every man wants to have one family for life: to give birth to children with his beloved woman, to raise and educate, to enjoy their successes and achievements, to share sorrows. The vast majority of men do not want to exist in the "weekend dad" format.

And now the main question arises: "Why is this?" Why does one live in one family in happiness, the other manages to create several stories, and each new trip to the Wedding Palace on the Promenade des Anglais becomes happy, and the third never meets his love. Even normal relationships cannot be achieved by a person - relationships filled with harmony, pleasure from each other, trepidation from being near the other half. Why does this happen? If you think that I will give you an answer to this question, then I want to upset you: I think that only God knows the answer to it. But there is good news: I am ready to share some conclusions with you.

Observing the happy couples, I was surprised to find that in almost all of them, both participants are far from model in appearance. In one book, I even read once that love is not affected by three "B": Appearance, Weight and Age.

Further observations led me to the conclusion that happiness does not depend on the financial well-being of the family.

And the answer to this question about the nature of family happiness is closely related to the answer to another, the main question that I often ask myself: “Why is one born in a poor African village, and beggars all his life, and the other is born in a family of billionaires and all life is enjoying life? " Someone says that it happened so by chance, someone believes that each person in his new life is responsible for the actions of the past. Everyone has their own opinion on this matter, but there is definitely some kind of incomprehensible distribution “at the top” - where, when and by whom a person should be born. The same story is with happiness: one is destined to meet him, and maybe even more than once, while the other is not.

If we consider those pairs in which something went wrong, there are always key points, after which a split occurred. Even a seemingly insignificant event that requires a decision determines how the couple's life will go on. The husband came to fetch his wife after a particularly stressful day for some kind of presentation, asked her to go home with him: if she says yes, the development of the family will go one way, and if she decides to hang out a little more, the relationship will go the other way. Analyzing the history of divorce, you find out that they happen long before the moment when the husband and wife actually divorced. This can happen three years, or even seven years before legalization. As practice shows, even if a wife found her husband in bed with his mistress, this does not always cause a divorce. Yes, the last straw, but not the main reason. It’s just that too many grievances and contradictions have accumulated by this time.

But one must understand that divorce is always unpleasant for both parties. And the choice is always given. And one must always remember that love is a divine gift, and if it has already been received, then it must be enjoyed. As one esoteric teaching says: "There are only two things on this planet that are not on any other planets - delicious food and love."

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