It would seem that people around are constantly meeting, falling in love and getting married, but you just can't manage to follow the flow. Grandma says: "You are clever a lot." Sofya Kovalevskaya had to enter into a fictitious marriage, and the smartest woman in the world - Daniela Simidchieva - brings up three children alone. True, smart, kind and decent men also suffer from similar problems. And I want to believe that one day we will cross. To understand how to solve the problem of smart girls, I interviewed several acquaintances to find out why it is so difficult to build a healthy relationship if your IQ is slightly higher than normal.
1. Smart girls are more comfortable to be without a relationship than to be with the wrong guy. They understand that the time they spend on a relationship that will exhaust you and leave you with a broken heart can be spent on something else. 2. They try too hard to analyze what the “right” guy should be. Smart girls know compatibility is more science than art. Half of it consists of chemistry between people, and half of grown-up love and care.
I have a couple of familiar friends with whom it is very interesting to just talk. To discuss some things that I myself do not really understand, to share something new. It develops. On the other hand, I do not like "smart girls" who simply declare their minds: find fault with everything in a row, presenting their captiousness as intelligence and "the only true opinion." I think that when guys say they don't like "smart" girls, it’s more often than not. And with a worldly wise woman it's hard only if he himself is poorly adapted to life.
3. Smart girls usually have the means to live independently, and most of them take this opportunity. At some point, it becomes scary for them to share their comfortable space with another, because so much effort has been invested in it.
I am a sensible girl and I want people around to think sensibly too. I got to know guys who were in my faculty, and on dates, I found that they absolutely did not understand their work. They do not understand basic things, do not try to learn something new. If we were in a relationship, I would like to poke a guy like that all the time. Not because I want to drive him under the heel, but simply so that he stops living so passively. 4. Their personal interests outside of dating are always competing for attention. They are constantly busy. Smart girls are busy with their favorite hobbies or careers, and they do not always have enough time to constantly go on dates. More often than not, this is the main problem, why they are still alone. Simple math: more trial and error - the pool of people with whom you can build relationships grows.
5. They are not cynical, they just know how often the relationship ends and why. They don't rely solely on the feeling of love. They want to know that the couple will agree on important things like outlooks, financial habits, and so on.
6. They can distinguish the feeling of comfort and affection that occurs when a guy makes a commitment. They understand that more often than not, it's just a burst of hormones. Love needs to be cultivated, intimacy needs to be practiced. And they are not going to settle for less.
7. Smart women scare many insecure people, and those around them can have many strong feelings towards such people, both good and bad.
I dated a very smart girl for 2.5 years. And that was great! The downside was that I could not push her nonsense in disputes, talk about what I did not understand. She always had arguments.
8. They don't pretend they know what they want in 10 or 20 years. They do not think they will always remain the same as they are now. Smart girls strive for growth and change in their lives, which can make it difficult to maintain a relationship.
9. Once upon a time, women were literally passed from father to husband, and these traditions have been maintained for hundreds of years. Now, relationships are seen as the result of love, affection, and deep communication. But alas, not all men, even in Russia, agree with these changes. 10. They know how to protect themselves. They are not going to invest everything in a hopeless relationship or risk their lives. They will judge whether the game is worth the candle.
I would start by separating the mind and just being well read or the amount of knowledge. Both are beautiful. But if the second may not cause problems, then the first is a much more significant thing. For myself, I noticed that I like smart or know a lot of girls, as this instantly attracts my attention, and sometimes arouses admiration. But either nature or social attitudes about the superiority of a man over a woman can lead to negative effects such as a feeling of vulnerability and a lowering of the sense of self-importance. In the case when the question is in quantity, you compensate for this with other areas in which you simply know more. But if the girl is exactly smart and surpasses you, then this is already a matter of efficiency. If she solves problems more effectively than you and finds more rational solutions, then this is a very strong blow.
If you cannot resist her in disputes or solving any issues, this is a loss. Not literally, but in the context of dominance.
Once upon a time I had the experience of communicating with a fairly smart girl, but this experience was associated by 90% with a showdown. We quarreled on the very first day we met. Over the next several months, we did this almost every day: we figured out who was right and who was not, played on each other's feelings and used very nasty tricks to overthrow our opponent. It was interesting and even educational, but it felt more like a war than a normal relationship. Plus, I was very tired of this lifestyle. Instead of thinking about something good, I was in a state of this "game", which did not leave me the opportunity to exist and think in a normal way.
First, a smart girl can become an interesting “opponent” with whom she will not be bored. But a very smart one can become an "enemy".
Secondly, a smart girl can take a dominant position. And you will not like it if she shows it not only at home, but also in public. And there are three options, depending on the character: 1) You will take it for granted and will not change anything. Surely everyone has an example from the life of older generations, when the main woman with a frying pan is in the house. 2) Use it to improve your skill or just develop and enjoy the realization of what a cool girl you have. 3) Break off the relationship.
And third: it can be really hard with a smart girl, since you have to step over yourself. This is not entirely a minus, nooo … Discomfort and suspiciousness may appear in relation to her words and actions.