Since early spring, perhaps even since February, Facebook and contextual advertising have been flooding me with offers. "Two legs for the price of one", "Whole body for 3,999." It's about hair removal. "Lips by installments". Pump up, that is. "Silicone threads. Top-class beauty”. Insert ropes into the cheekbones, pull them to the ears.
There is no end or end to these suggestions for improvement: some kind of vacuum massages, miraculous wraps, contouring make-up, eyebrow stencils, new generation shadows, super heel brushes, pants with a push-up effect, silicone bras, false nipples. And, of course, erotic lingerie, passionate swimwear, alluring sundresses
That is, for almost half a year I have been urged to spend free money on sex appeal. And here I, of course, do not really understand why I need this, a married childish woman living in a village and having 76 kg of live weight. Well, okay, the audience was wrong. You can forgive.
But I still don't understand. After all, I walk the streets of cities, sometimes I travel around Russia and, damn it, I see who lives there. I see our men, the age sought for by the owners of panties with silicone inserts - 25-40 years. I see and do not understand why I should do my best for them.
In order to understand at least something in Russia, one must live here not only for a long time, but also carefully. And then you can notice, spy on, eavesdrop, question and guess that an average man is still a trophy. What percentage of women compete for those single specimens of fit, smart, healthy, at least a little educated and at least self-sufficient male citizens? It is good if 10-15% of women fight for these 3-5% of men. The rest of their best years are spent fighting for whom?
To be honest, the average man, who, in theory, is hunted by the average woman, is not worth such an investment. And sex with him - too. Why bother with all your money and time, go on diets, walk up to a stupor on an elliptical trainer and wear uncomfortable extended nails, if for all your suffering you get the average man?
Let's talk about grown women. They are, let's say, from 28 to 45. They are cheerful, cheerful, they have nothing hanging and they want a beautiful life. Not rich, not unusual, but beautiful. To have butterflies in the stomach, passion to loss of mind and love. Such love, from which even leaving for work in the morning you wake up. For the sake of all this, women are ready to sew threads into their cheeks, crush noses, cut breasts, walk on stilt heels. For the dream of boundless love and sex, as in the most desperate women's novels.
And what do they get in reality? They get an ordinary Russian man who, not even by the age of 40, but after 35, is bald, paunchy, with shortness of breath, belching and hypertension. And at the age of impotence.
Don't believe me? 90% of men in Russia after forty have damaged joints and suffer from constipation. After 30, memory damage - "Alzheimer's yuppie". After 35, breasts grow, and cases of breast cancer are more frequent among men. 42% of men of the most tempting age - 25-39 - are overweight, and 26.6% of men aged 35-44 are already obese. And this is the first time in the history of observations, more than the obesity rate among women of a similar age - they have only 24.5%. These are data from the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation from 2016. In 2019, the same specialist, RAS Corresponding Member Oksana Drapkina, spoke about 30% of obese men.
What is obesity? The thicker the man, the shorter his penis. The organ itself does not shrink, but hides in the folds. Andrologists call this "stimulation length". A man of average height with a weight of 130-140 kg has a penis, as it were. But it doesn't seem to exist. Rather, it has lost 4-6 cm of its functional length. Or stimulation. Don't believe me? Already in the program of Oprah Winfrey they talked about it. Losing weight by 15 kg can return up to 2.5 cm of penis length. These are our average men.
They also go bald. The average age of onset of hair loss in Russia is from 27 years. But there are also 20-year-olds with bald patches. Stress, pasta diet with a minimum of protein, lack of culture of bald head treatment and money for it. In any article of a trichologist, it is indicated that the number of men prone to baldness is the same in all regions of the Earth. However, in poor countries with poor ecology and low living standards, there are more bald people. We have a lot of them. And they are not just bald - they have a beer belly, beer breasts and completely feminine sides.
Have you seen young guys on the dacha beaches? It's a wasp waist contest! Which in five years will be replaced overnight by beer bellies. We still have lovers!
By the way, okay - the stomach, chest, bald spot can be endured. But Russian men suffer from hypertension en masse. The age of onset of this disease in Russia in men is much lower than in women. Men treat hypertension much less frequently than women. Only five-odd percent of hypertensive men maintain normal blood pressure. What is hypertension? These are shortness of breath, sweating, red face, micro-strokes. And normal strokes too. Right in bed. On a woman, they die beautifully precisely because of hypertension.
Do you save up for your lip contouring, wear some kind of airtight push-up panties with inserts, build up your nails, do laser resurfacing of your face And all so that your 120-kilogram lover would then pour a fountain of blood from his ruptured aorta on you?
It only sounds exaggerated, but in life it is. You, I repeat, go to the beach. Not to the pool of a fitness club, not to the Cote d'Azur, but somewhere in the Vladimir region, on the Nerl, where the Moscow middle class travels for the weekend. For those in the pool and in Nice, units of the female avant-garde are competing. And the general public, the very target audience of continuous advertising of cheap cosmetology clinics, is forced to fight for red-faced fat men with shortness of breath, pressure and unstable stimulation length.
And now there will be the most demotivating information: every fifth Russian 21-30 years old turns to doctors about problems in bed. Doctors politely refer to these problems as sexual dysfunction. Every fifth applies! And how many of those who do not apply, if our people, even with a tooth sick, do not go to the dentist to the last? Further more. Among thirty-year-olds, this same dysfunction is already being treated by 27%. Among forty-year-olds - 48%. They are being treated! And how many untreated?
The chief urologist of Russia Dmitry Pushkar claims that 90% of our men suffer from impotence. Every fifth Russian after 45 decides that he doesn't need sex. But here, with reference to Dr. Pushkar, it is also said that in 70% of cases men refuse sex first and that already 37% of men after 45 years believe that sex is not for them. So the myth about wives with always aching heads is just a part of national folklore. It hurts more often not in women. And not the head.
And what is the potency, if hypertension and from smoking with constant drinking already after twenty begin problems with blood vessels?
And this I have not yet begun to load you with data on gastritis, heartburn, belching, bad breath, bloating, hemorrhoids - problems that are extremely common among Russian men, which are caused by poor nutrition, stress, lack of a culture of dental prevention, metal crowns and an unhealthy lifestyle. … And I didn't write about worms! What do you think? Do you know how many men don't wash their hands after using the toilet?
In general, if we exclude the poles from the total sample - millions of alcoholics, drug addicts and the declassified element, on the one hand, and well-groomed rich people, to whom most women still do not have access, on the other, it will turn out
frail picture: pot-bellied bald hypertensive patients with belching, halitosis and a member drowned in fat folds.
From this unattractive crowd look out, gathering the best women, a few representatives of the scientific and creative intelligentsia, medium-sized business, middle-class officials and junior staff of state-owned companies. Among these often men are well-groomed, healthy, attractive. Well, or at least interesting. And with the rest, the fear of what happens by the age of forty!
By the way, it's not enough for you that the object, in the hunt for which the ladies sew silicone inserts into their panties, gastritis, a red face, the heart is naughty, the pressure is 180 to 120, the hairs have fallen out and the smell from the mouth? So he also lives with his family or parents (only 25% of middle-aged men live alone). His average income today, after deducting payments, is less than 30,000 rubles a month. The car is a Russian or a five-year-old frail foreign car on credit. It is also known about him that he sits on the Internet for three hours a day, his favorite programs are “Best of All,” “The Voice,” and he calls the 2018 FIFA World Cup the most important event in Russia in the 21st century.
Cut yourself, pull yourself two sizes, put silicone pads in your pants, pump up your lips, tighten your eyelids. 20-30 thousand dollars - and a pot-bellied guy with a second breast size, chiseled waist, shortness of breath, belching, hypertensive crisis will be yours. On the third attempt to go to bed, he will even give you an average of three minutes of sex. No frills and a frantic pace. He's not up to the pace, maybe I live, and you yourself don't want the second crisis, this time with a stroke, to break it right at the end of the cherished third minute?
Nothing funny. A woman in Russia today is crushed by the demand to be sexy. She is no longer persuaded, but forced to spend almost the last money on care and maintenance of sex appeal. What for? Nowhere is this sad reality shown, in which next to beautiful well-groomed women in our country are ugly, neglected and sick men. Have you noticed why our men especially love this word "well-groomed"? Rarely will anyone say about a woman that she is beautiful - they would rather note grooming.
The Russian man, the one with shortness of breath, belching and lost stimulation length, likes to be tried for his sake. Although everything seems to be simple and understandable: a woman needs sex appeal in order to receive attention and sex. At the same time, what kind of sex awaits a successful participant in the race for an ideal figure, hypocritically does not specify. But this one is waiting: three minutes on the third try. And it's good if you do without a micro stroke.
