Sooner or later, this question will arise in your relationship. Will stand up in the literal sense of the word and require a decision. PEOPLETALK spoke with various couples and Olga Kopylova, a professional psychologist and sexologist, about oral sex.
Natalia (25) has been married for a little over a year (her husband was her first man). And everything seems to be fine, but she honestly admits that she never gives a blowjob. There were attempts, but they all turned out to be a failure. “I tried, but I feel humiliated and, to be honest, I’m disgusted,” explains my interlocutor. The husband, too, could not relax, so he no longer insists. The "return service" did not work either. “It’s ticklish,” the young wife says confidentially. “We don't need this, we have good sex - once or twice a week,” she adds.
Sexologist: Sometimes girls say that they don't like giving oral pleasure to a man. They do not like this business. This suggests that they do not like a man, or that no one taught them how to do it correctly. If a competent mentor teaches you all the wisdom, then you will understand that a blow job is a pleasure for two, this endless creativity, this is a special closeness between you, a sense of your own worth and satisfaction.
But with Maxim (31) and Olya (23), everything is different. “I realized that everything would be fine with us when, a week after we met, she gave me a blowjob right in the car. I like that she has no complexes,”says Maxim about his fiancée. A spark immediately flashed between them, and they saw nothing wrong with giving each other pleasure. “This question never bothered me, especially when I like a man (I had a lot of novels). We are all adults and behind closed doors of a bedroom (car or other room) we can do whatever we want,”says Olya. They have been together for three years and have sex four times a week, sometimes more often.
Sexologist: Still, a blow job on the first date is not a good idea. If you want a lasting relationship, never do it. Sex on the first date can still be justified, but not a blow job. Most men in childhood dreamed of a princess as much as we dreamed of a fairy-tale prince. And it is difficult to imagine a princess who, when meeting a prince, instead of losing a shoe or inspiring him to the feat of fighting a dragon, suddenly attacks his manhood and with all her skill shows that this is her last chance to get married. It is unlikely that after this the prince will be drawn to care and exploits. But if you have already tested the strength of the feelings of your chosen one, then please indulge him more often. And not only in the bedroom, but also in the most unusual places and at the most unexpected moments. And in the car, and at a party, and on the beach, and in his office … everywhere. Everyone will only get better from this.
Vika (24) is married, she has a child, she and her husband are planning a second one, but one aspect of adult life still bypasses the girl. “Not once,” she says. “Nuuu there is hair,” Vika replies to my surprised look. I'm just not so relaxed, my husband is older and more experienced, and I usually just adjust to his desires. But he never insisted on this. My friend says that everything should be allowed to my husband, otherwise he will look for it on the side. But Yura never raised this topic, and neither did I,”Vika shares.
Sexologist: If you are crazy about a man, love him and use reciprocity, then this is the very man with whom you can afford everything.
“Once I slept with an unfamiliar guy. An athlete who speaks little and is not interested in relationships - ideal for me at the time. I am an open person, I tried my best, and then, in response to a request, I heard: "This is not a man's business." Polina could not forgive such selfishness, and did not call him again.
Sexologist: When asked whether to do it or not, any man will answer: "Yes, of course!" After all, this is not only very pleasant, but also valuable for him! At this moment, you accept it completely and completely. But the man who forces you expects only this from you and treats you disrespectfully - absolutely not! Do you know that all sexually transmitted diseases are transmitted, including through oral sex?
Remember whether to do it or not is up to you. But how will you know if you don't try?
Oral sex courses in Moscow:
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