A Lifelong Adventure: Dasha Pakhtusova On Relationships, Travel And Writing

A Lifelong Adventure: Dasha Pakhtusova On Relationships, Travel And Writing
A Lifelong Adventure: Dasha Pakhtusova On Relationships, Travel And Writing

Video: A Lifelong Adventure: Dasha Pakhtusova On Relationships, Travel And Writing

Video: The Key to an INFJ Serious Lifelong Relationship 2022, December

"Anything is Possible" tells about seven years of the road, spent alone from 20 to 27 years old. It involves heroes who drag through all this time. When I started, I didn't have a goal to publish a book or become a popular blogger - I just wrote short notes for myself. The texts became longer and longer, growing into stories. Publications began to receive 5-8 likes, in those days it seemed that this was a lot. I remember living in Bali in 2013 - it wasn’t mainstream then - imagining the faces of those eight people by my bed. Eight people, you can go crazy! After the travel festival happened, I saw that people were interested in it, and made a blog on VKontakte. Immediately left for America and in the first year gained sufficient popularity. The topic of travel has not yet been disclosed so much, and I became one of the first ten Russian guys who went somewhere on their own and write about it. At that time, VKontakte had real blogs, and if you had 3,000 subscribers, this meant that these were three thousand living people who read you every day, write huge letters in the morning and hope to get an answer. Now no one is reacting to the numbers.


Work on the book

I was recollecting the beginning of the adventure from memory already at the age of 27. The book has a plot, a narrative story, but periodically there are inserts like "Note in a Diary", indicating a specific city and year. The idea is that from every page a hero of this age is talking to you: first a 20-year-old girl, and then a 25-year-old girl. The formation of a person is tracked due to what things he pays attention to, how the narrative and text have changed. The most difficult thing was to piece together all the memories of the past.

I always sat down to write, being alone with myself. When you travel with someone, the first excitement of the story disappears, because you have already shared it: as if you made love, there was an exchange of energy, and you are no longer interested. The need disappears. When you are alone - she is at the maximum. At such moments, the most important thing is to sit in front of a laptop and write down a story without first dumping it on a friend or girlfriend. For me it was a kind of necessity - to leave alone.

With regard to all creative professions, there is one exact and clear answer: if you can not be an artist, ballerina, actor, writer - don’t be one. As Bradbury said: "God knows, it is better to plant peaches in the garden, it will be healthier for your health." When I finished the book, I thought: "That's it, never again." It cost me a tremendous amount of effort. Once I even calculated that while working on the description of all the stories and editing, I drank 700 cups of coffee and the same liters of wine. The coolest texts are obtained precisely at the moment of maximum emancipation. Yes, the book turned out to be quite frank. But, in my opinion, she is frank up to the point when it is necessary. This is not 50 Shades of Gray. I left some super-intimate moments solely as a tool for conveying information. It's like a novel about life. It has different guys, different cities, different situations. And the point is to close the concept of versatility. Including I describe different guys, different attitudes. The book is frank, because otherwise you will not get through: for me, such a sincere exhibitionism is precisely for this. It seems to me that many people think that this exhibitionism is great for writers. No, it's actually just a tool.When my first popularity came to me, when people recognized me on the street, I felt uneasy, because I knew: they read how I was running naked in the desert, using forbidden substances and doing group sex. And she was like, "Yes, it's me."


I combined a very strong desire to share and a sense of beauty. When you catch him, it's like going out for a smoke break with God: a higher meaning is revealed in everything. This is what I bring the reader with this story - he must feel the divine implementation. And in order to feel this, you cannot write a simple conclusion, the story must be written so that a person, having read it, himself comes to this feeling and thoughts. Why do all Impressionists sell their paintings for a million bucks? Because you fucking have to see something of your own in this.

I love to create, in a good way, a product that works like a therapist. You come to him, he talks to you, understands what your problem is, and starts working with it.

About men

Do men like my book? Yes, I like it. Well, like those who say they like it. And for those who do not like it, they will not read it. They will think: why should we read about the adventures of some girl? There are two ways why men might like my book. The first is that they are more sensual and are not blocked by the notions of what is good and what is bad. The second is guys with an open worldview who want to feel and understand a woman.

Solo travel for a man and a woman is like skiing and snowboarding: initially, different motivations. Second, there are different ways. That is, a woman traveling the world, most likely, not on some big budget, will use the help of men, and they will still be glued to her. The woman will be more lonely and more difficult. Men are more independent guys. Although I have a gay friend, he does not know how to cry, and after reading my book, he cried. I thought it was a great compliment. More often I am read, no offense will be said, indecisive and dependent boys who have never traveled anywhere in their lives, but really want to. They are so charmingly shy.

About women

The patriarchy is gradually disappearing: by myself and by the rest of the girls, I see that we are changing the patriarchy to some more democratic version. Russia is lagging behind in this, but it is moving towards this. I know from myself: when I enter into a relationship with a new man, subconsciously I think that if I do not cook, then I am a bad girl. Why? He didn’t tell me anything, no one in society told me this directly, no. Where did it come from in my head? Education. Before my eyes is the image of a mother who, at a young age, forgot and hammered that she was a woman. That is, in our heads, mother often acts in the form of a Russian woman who will stop a galloping horse, save a hut, and so on. And this has not gone anywhere in Russian women.

I am the eyes that tell what they see, without trying to push anything at all to the masses, Another fact: there are indeed fewer men in Russia. Those who were more or less able to hold a gun in their hands were killed. And those who stayed also had shitty genetics. For the most part, these are the children of fathers who could not fight. It is with these children that we, Russian beauties, are meeting. Even for one not quite handsome man, there are five women who begin to do everything to withstand the competition. In sexuality education classes, I hear girls say that they fake orgasm: "Suddenly he thinks I'm frigid and leaves me." And I think: "His mother, why?" The man thinks that he is a cool lover, and is not trying to change anything. And everyone is playing this awkward comedy. When you leave for other countries and see that everything can be different, you think: "Your mother, this is a grandiose deception!" I have lived all my life in a country where they told me that I should be a housewife, every time I go out on the street wearing makeup and only in heels. And I also have to close all the notions of what an “ideal chick” is, and make money myself.But it turns out that it could have been completely different.

No, I'm not a feminist. I do not attribute myself to this in any way and I do not propagandize anything, but I am talking about this topic. It's always very difficult for me to talk about it, because I know that when you talk about it, the reaction of the audience will be the same. 80% of women will say that at last someone said and wrote about it, and the other 20% simply do not want to admit the problem. I posted an article: advice from a married woman with children to those who are not yet married and without children. There's just advice to yourself in the past. Cool text, everything is on the topic. And one of my close friends recorded a voice message for me: “Why are you doing this? You have a huge influence, why do you exhibit such a thing? " I ask, what exactly is the problem? And he tells me that I am beginning to spread the idea that a woman does not need a man. What man would like the idea that he is optional? That he is not the meaning of life. No one will like this.

About bloggers

Since 2015, I have been conducting some kind of mass media activity and have never paid a single ruble for advertising. I haven't done any webinars, contests, I don't even know all these concepts. Now I'm starting to find out what happens. To be honest, I thought: I’ll release a book and become a star, but now it doesn’t work that way. If before you were published in a publishing house, this meant one hundred percent success. Now the publishing house works in a different way. It just looks at your reach, how many likes you have, and if all goes well, you get typed. And so they do not care what to print. My book was supposed to be published in December 2018, but my editor chose Alena Vodonaeva's book "Naked". On the last page of this book it is written that "girls need to hold on to dicks." If you have a member in your hand, then you are already a winner in life. Until I saw that it was actually printed in the book, I didn’t believe it. And it's very funny that from some point of view, my entire book was about the opposite. It was simply more profitable for the publisher to release it.

Now the content is not important, only the number is important. How many circulation we will have, how many sales there will be. Quality goes to the side. Values ​​change, Bloggers post texts with such misspellings that I don't understand why they have 2 million subscribers? It is necessary to write some kind of slag so that it can be pro-licked and fortified. I see this trend, and it's really scary. And creative people, it seems to me, because of this, is losing enthusiasm at the root. And it disappears for me, and for all the guys who were popular in my time, it disappeared. That is, all the dudes that I think are real, cool, are starting to abandon social networks altogether. Because they can't stand it. Because it is already mainstream. And the coolest things are not born in the mainstream. When we created blogs on VKontakte in 2013, we were an alternative magazine, alternative behavior and outlook on life. And I'm just offended. I do not want to call myself a blogger, I am disgusted with this word. It's just some name-calling …

About Instagram

I see very well that the old audience does not leave, but the new one does not appear either. The fact that the old audience is not leaving suggests that the content is normal. And the fact that a new one does not appear suggests that Instagram has its own rules. You can compare: I have almost 23 thousand subscribers on VKontakte, and almost 13 thousand on Instagram. Twice smaller. At the same time, I have not invested in advertising anywhere.

Adjusting to these rules, at the end of the post, I started asking questions that were interesting to me, but I understood: I am doing this because otherwise no one will see my post - he has no comments. And in general, when you just throw in these questions, for people to comment, damn, this is all disgusting. I, of course, can do it, but I am disgusted.

If Pushkin or Gogol were asked to rate their work from 1 to 5? You are not here to demand an assessment from people, to demand feedback from people, And why will they love me? A man meets me on the street and starts crying. Damn, there really were such stories.In Siberia, I somehow come to a restaurant, and the girl who works there as a waitress just looks at me and starts crying. Not a single millionth blogger from the fact that he just laid out his ass, not a single subscriber will cry at the sight of him. Yes, of course, I can find money, start promoting everything, but this is a completely different alignment. My audience is different, my people are different. They love me for something else. On the other hand, in an amicable way, you need to develop, you need to earn money. And then the conflict begins between your creativity and the desire to make good money. It's really hard. I just wondered if I was ready to give it all right now? Am I ready to go to work as a waitress somewhere in Guatemala, or do I still want to be creative? And I still want to be creative. Okay, what does that mean? It means that you need to somehow develop. How to develop? Well, along the way, on Instagram. And what needs to be done for this? This is a problem for me. I liked to create and not think about it. In an amicable way, this requires a team of smm, PR, producer, performance manager, just an assistant. I have 0. They have nothing to pay. I have to somehow combine everything myself.,


Don't piss! It seems to me that when I sign books, I try … I never write "Masha with love from the author." I love to sign randomly. Do you know how I do it? If I sign, then I just write some quotes. If a person is standing in front of me, I ask what he wants. He tells me what he wants, and I write some kind of abstract wish. And one phrase that I have written often is "Life is an adventure, make it legendary." Because, unfortunately, people forget about adventure. My book begins with a quote from Mark Twain that in the end we will only regret two things: that we loved little and that we traveled little. Therefore, it seems to me, we should not forget that life is really an adventure. Don't take life too seriously because it's an adventure. We need to get high on life because it’s an adventure. This attitude as an adventure, it seems to me, sets the right priorities and outlook on life., "Life is an adventure, make it legendary", Insagram VK

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