For many centuries, men were supposed to be courageous, resilient and emotionless. For them, there was a rigid framework of behavior, the departure from which was regarded as weakness or even caused "accusations" of homosexuality. But in our time, the framework begins to break down, and we will tell you why the manifestation of emotions between friends is not just normal, but even good.
The word "Bromance" comes from the English bro - "dude, buddy" and "romance" - a novel, relationship. The word was first used in 1990 by David Carney in his skateboarding magazine. Bromance, he called the close relationship between two skateboarders who spend a lot of time with each other. Each bromance is unique, but they all share some common traits.
Trait 1. Strong spiritual and emotional connection
Not every friendship is a bromance. Bromance is a much more intimate thing, and no, it's not about men's sexual preferences at all. We are talking about a close emotional connection between two friends who, most likely, have common interests, hobbies, outlooks on life. They discuss among themselves not only "beer" and "girls", but also their experiences and problems, spend a lot of time together and consider each other best friends, always ready to help.
Trait 2. Lack of embarrassment
Thanks to the LGBT rights movement and feminism, gender stereotypes are losing their weight - and it is much easier for men to express their emotions than before. Adam White of The Conversation interviewed male bromancers and found that almost all men are not shy about physically contacting each other. They can hug, lie in the same bed and fall asleep, hugging each other. Some even kissed their friends, and there is no sexual overtones in this - this is just an expression of pure love for their friend.
Bromance and history
Back in 300 BC, the famous philosopher Aristotle described friendship in one of his treatises like this: “Those who wish good for their friends and do everything for them are real friends, for everyone loves the other for what he is, and not for random qualities"
Unfortunately, after the spread of Sigmund Freud's concepts of the connection of the unconscious with the sexual in the 19th century, many men began to fear that their behavior would be interpreted as homosexual, which greatly influenced the degree of openness in the expression of emotions in men.
In addition, at different times in different countries, the so-called men's unions were formed, they are also men's clubs, the way to which women was ordered. It is not so important even what the men were doing there - the whole point was precisely in communicating with "their own kind", in the feeling of unity with other members of these clubs and superiority over those who did not have access to them. From here - closed secret communities, the right to enter which received only a select few. The very fact of membership in these communities became a source of pride - but also gave rise to the fear of being accused of homosexuality, so that men admitted to these holy of holies often behaved emphatically aloof towards their comrades.
Holding back emotions is destructive
The equality movement not only helps to uphold the rights of the sexes and races, but also helps to abandon conservative views of the division of roles in society. Also, statistics were collected showing that in the 1980s, the statistics of male suicides was one of the highest, while in the 2010s it is the lowest.
Yes, the stereotype that a man never cries and is always a support will not be eradicated completely soon, but our world has already taken the first steps towards this.Studies show that if a person suppresses the expression of emotions, then this is likely to lead to some kind of psychological problems, in serious cases even to violence and suicide. Guys who actively advocate conservative masculinity and do not recognize other forms of behavior are more prone to alexithymia - it is more difficult for them to express and describe their emotions and the emotions of other people, their fantasy is less developed, they are more withdrawn and do not care about their own experiences.
In the end, no one has ever forbidden girls to have a close relationship with each other and literally share their house and things with each other, sleep in the same bed and discuss dreams - therefore, you should not forbid men to do the same if they want to.