Girls Help Girls: Why Feminism Isn't Scary

Girls Help Girls: Why Feminism Isn't Scary
Girls Help Girls: Why Feminism Isn't Scary
Anonim

A few years ago, the whole world was rocked by a wave of feminism. Already now it is called a phenomenon of such an order as the discovery of electricity or the Internet - that is, the changing face of the world. In Russian society, feminism is still perceived ambiguously: from "rude, short-haired lesbians" to "Why don't you protect men?" Daria Andreeva, the author of the blog "Uneducated Femininity", helped us to understand the topic. In December 2018, she gathered a full audience in Kaliningrad with her lecture "Feminism is not scary." Before delving into the essence of feminism, it is necessary to make out two important concepts and one phenomenon. First, about the first. There is "gender" - a complex of physical characteristics that define a person as a man, woman or intersex. And there is gender - this is the inner self-awareness of a person as a man or a woman, depending on our idea of ​​what a man and a woman should be. And the second important phenomenon is the concept of map and territory, which claims that our idea of ​​reality does not coincide with reality. Social constructs are a map that is given to us in childhood and is told that we must live according to it. But in reality, the territory is changing, and the map is becoming obsolete. In rational thinking, this concept is very important: it is a measure of belief. The better the map matches the territory, the more rational it is.

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Why are we protecting women at all? Because there is a concept of “gender-based violence”, and, unfortunately, according to statistics, more women in the world suffer from violence than men (90% versus 10%). Statistics say that over the past year, 7% of women have faced domestic violence, 2% of women (this is every fifth), and economic violence (they earn less, are dependent on their husbands) - from 30 to 70%. Plus, all over the world there are problems of forced abortion, sterilization and many others. Therefore, there is no systemic humanist movement in the world, but there is a feminist one. But we are not only talking about an outright violation of rights.

One of the main points of application of feminism is the fight against gender stereotypes. To put it simply, this is all that goes with "Well, you're a girl!" or "Boys don't do that." This is something that has been imposed on us since childhood and eats into the subcortex so much that it determines our future life, choice of profession, relationship with the opposite sex. Think, the "girl" in you was raised from infancy: a pink stroller, in the kindergarten - the role of a princess or a snowflake, grandmothers give dolls, at school the teacher tells you that girls are better at reciting poetry and writing essays. With all this load of stereotypes, we come into adulthood and meet new "All women want children and get married", "For a woman, the main thing is not sex and love." The brain washed out for decades ceases to critically assess reality, see other possibilities and resist stereotypes, and even perceives some as a compliment: “For a woman, you drive well,” “Yes, you have male brains.” As a result, a mature man and woman build a life together and relationships with other people, following a track hacked by gender stereotypes. This does not mean that, for example, a woman of her own free will does not want to be a “keeper of the hearth,” and a man does not like the role of a breadwinner. Maybe I like it. But this choice must be deliberate, otherwise a family will turn out in which the wife quietly hates life, watering flowers and caring for the child, and the spouse with longing and doom goes to work or to the bank to make another payment for the mortgage.Why he? Nobody asked if he could bear this load; whether he wants to work more; whether he wants to be solely responsible for the family. He is a man, which means that the default is to pay the mortgage to him. And if any problem happens, then only he will solve it. The most regrettable thing is that most often the “head of the family” (a stereotype in the topic!) With uncomplaining readiness accepts this burden, not realizing that there is a field of other options.

But it also happens that choosing an unusual role in this society, a person is faced with the opposition of society. He began to cry in public - "What a slack, you can't rely on such a thing, no strong shoulder." The girl does not jump when receiving the bouquet and does not give the gentleman kisses - "The bitch is cold, maybe even frigid." If you are lucky and you did not suffer from "direct" discrimination, then meet such a thing as "benevolent sexism", which does not seem harmful to anyone, on the contrary - a privilege. In the case of women: the ability to avoid paying bills and lifting heavy bags. However, along with the “bonuses”, a woman is gradually losing important rights: to make independent decisions and, in principle, to have, say, free will, to claim a high status. This is the so-called substitution of concepts: hiding behind the nobility of a knight and a holy duty, men are increasingly squeezing the freedom of women. Caring for the "weak field" gradually turns into "a woman, what to take from her." And if now, in the age of the heyday of feminism, frank and rude sexism is read by many quickly and some have a desire to oppose it, then benevolent, on the contrary, reduces the motivation to defend their rights.

Gender stereotypes are born not only by society and herd instinct, but by cognitive biases. Here are the most common., Photo: Alexander Lyubin

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