The famous matchmaker Roza Syabitova said that worthy men work in hospitals and schools or serve in the army. At the same time, she clarified that people involved in these specialties receive a little money, and women will have to choose between happiness and prosperity. The editorial staff of Vechernyaya Moskva turned to a dating expert and asked to name the qualities that a girl should pay attention to when she first meets a man.
Psychologist, coach, consultant for establishing successful relationships with men Alexander Kolosov said that the most important thing in a partner is independence.
- First of all, when building a serious relationship, a woman must answer the question: “Is a man standing on his own feet? Can a candidate for elected office provide for himself and his family? " A man must be mature morally and materially. Otherwise, the wife will have to provide him financially and constantly pull psychologically, but everything should be the other way around, '' the expert explained.
More than half of the couples, Kolosov said, are meeting online today. He recommended to carefully study the page of the alleged chosen one. From what you have seen, you can already glean a lot of information about the character, hobbies, lifestyle of a person.
It is reasonable to apply the following relationship-building algorithm: do not drag out the correspondence and agree on a call, communicate with a new acquaintance on the phone - in the course of a conversation, a girl learns a lot both by voice, intonation, and the manner of conducting a conversation, and will receive direct answers to questions, listen to a person's story about yourself.
After talking on the phone, you need to organize a video call. This will make it possible to assess the interlocutor visually - does his appearance meet expectations? After all, the photos posted in the profile can be old or corrected in the editor. If everything suits you, it's time to agree on a "test date".
- By how the man will behave, where he will invite, how much he will try to be cordial, attentive, generous, one can draw conclusions. Even if he allows himself more than he usually can: he takes him to an expensive cafe, tries to treat him to a good dinner - that's great. Hence, he understands that he must take care of the lady. If he takes you to a cheap "eatery", without asking his companion, orders "compote and pie", you should be on your guard. Moreover, big doubts will be caused by the "groom" who will offer to split the bill in the cafe. It is unlikely that such a greedy person will become a good life companion, - Kolosov advised.
The psychologist warned that it is impossible to move on to intimacy after the first date - such relationships often turn out to be "for one night". According to the coach, the girl must understand how kind and patient the one she is going to choose. You can be a little late for a date, throw a cup of coffee or tea on the table, monitor the reaction - whether he will calm down, rush to help or lose his temper.
- It is not so difficult to calculate how well the candidate meets the expectations. “Are you full? Did you like it? Are you cold? " - these are questions of a normal companion who is interested in you. He should listen and hear you, and not just talk about himself, or even worse - brag about narcissism,”the speaker reminded.
The consultant noticed that it is not uncommon for adult women to throw themselves into the arms of obvious villains.
- Many have a script in their heads: "I will find myself bad and make good out of it!" There is no need to choose difficult paths. Get rid of the lifeguard image. Your sacrifices are unlikely to be appreciated. You will simply kill time, lose strength, and in the end, bitterness and disappointment will remain,”the specialist assured.
The expert also warned girls against situations when the “picture” does not coincide with the actions. When a fashionably dressed swinging handsome man does not meet halfway, does not surround him with warmth and care, shows himself to be an egoist and a cynical, callous person, the relationship should be terminated.
Finally, the specialist noted that in men, women have always been attracted by inner strength and kindness. According to Kolosov, these are two main qualities on which everything else depends.