With one click, order dinner home, a taxi to work and get sex - where the taxi is, with whom the sex is - it doesn't matter, everything is virtual. This does not oblige you to anything, does not lead to pregnancy, diseases and unnecessary nerves. Many people who are already in a relationship perceive online sex play as entertainment. Others collect "likes" that their partner puts to someone on Instagram, and even consider this to be a significant reason for a scandal. One way or another, everyone chooses for himself the degree of permissibility: what is considered a betrayal, and what can be forgiven.
Correspondent Natalya Luchkina spoke with three Muscovites who were able to survive internet infidelity.
"I want you online" Victoria, 32 years old
I’m the girl the neighbors usually say “smart” about. My whole life seemed to go according to GOST: a gold medal at school, a red diploma at an institute, fans, compliments. Almost immediately after graduation, I got married. This was my ideal: brutal, tall, intelligent, the kind, you know, for which "both into fire and into water" and where else they usually send. What can I say about my ideal life?
I discovered this find quite by accident. I honestly admit how I should react to this, I did not know for sure, I decided to leave this question for a while. Then I realized that I needed to get into his mobile. To be honest, I didn't see anything criminal there: correspondence at work, exchange of tough jokes with friends and a couple of missed ones from my parents. And she calmed down. Well, and the find … I reduced it all to a simple misunderstanding - it was easier that way.
Once I was taking apart his gym bag and found another phone, there was no password. The husband was in the shower at that time, so it was necessary to decide quickly: to read or not to read. I opened the first correspondence:
"I put clamps on your nipples. And you love it."
And this is perhaps the most harmless. My "owner" had about 20 such chats. And what did it turn out to be?
At first, I just regretted what I saw, and I wanted to forget everything to madness. We lived like that for quite a long time: we walked with our daughter, went to the movies, discussed vacation plans. Everything would probably have gone on like this if one day I hadn’t picked up his phone again and noticed a new correspondence there. It was about some kind of shibari photo shoot. It turns out that my husband still decided to meet with someone in real life. This I could no longer survive. Bondage, humiliation, ropes and gags at the level of words - wherever it went, but now it was a real betrayal, it does not matter whether the fact of sex itself was or not. I packed up some things, took my daughter and went to my mother. Then - long showdowns, denials and, as a result, recognition: I really crossed the border. It turned out that his need was too strong, because I did not hear any promises to quit with this. On the contrary, he asked to be accepted as he is. I accepted. And she filed for divorce.
"You are very beautiful, let's kiss" Alina, 24 years old
I dated a guy for about two years. A friend once said that she saw his photo on some dating site for virtual sex. Instead of throwing tantrums, I decided to understand why he was doing this, and also signed up.
After the first messages, to be honest, it was not that sickening, not that funny. All this sounded more ridiculous than vulgar, from the series: "You are very beautiful, let's kiss." Men are also very fond of using phrases in English, as if they are copied from cheap porn. The apogee is when English starts to mix with Russian. I understand that they picked up a lot, but they don't know how to apply it in reality.
Somehow I had a rather vivid correspondence with one foreigner. And for some reason, it was then that I felt the excitement. The conclusion was obvious.
But nude pictures are sent almost immediately. For a month of regular communication on the Internet with potential online partners, I met only two men who could make me excited. I can't say that it really turned my life upside down, but it helped open up my desires, sexuality and, in principle, myself.
During all this time, everything was fine in our relationship with my boyfriend.
This continues to this day: I just spend much less time on Internet flirting. But I think that it is necessary to equalize our positions.
I do not think that this is deception or betrayal - today it is generally difficult to stay constantly with one partner. We have an illusion of choice, we can get to know people with one click, literally in a second. And it's great luck when you meet someone with whom you linger. Therefore, allowing him and himself to slightly deviate from the rules on the Web is sometimes just necessary, in my opinion, this can save you from real betrayals.
"I can't delete it" Yaroslav, 35 years old
I have nothing against Internet flirting, but ladies need to be careful with this, it seems to me that they can easily fall in love with their interlocutor, especially if he speaks fluently and tries to listen to her. One day my girlfriend caught me internet flirting. I explained everything clearly.
Moreover, I didn’t talk to anyone, I basically asked them to throw off a couple of intimate photos, as a rule, this is enough. I know many girls who do the same, hiding it from their husband or boyfriend. They just like it when another man is aroused from them, they are unlikely to decide on real betrayal.
But once I caught myself on an unpleasant thought: one girl was turning into an obvious hindrance to my relationship. She called in the middle of the night, demanded attention, threatened to post our correspondence. I realized that I had to say goodbye to it, but for some reason I could not remove it. It was a feeling of some strange affection. This shouldn't happen in internet flirting.
I do not know of stories when such entertainment ended in something serious. It's just that we are adults: I have a woman whom I have chosen, I love her and I don’t want to part with her, and there is entertainment on the Internet: I just look, I don’t bother anyone.