Why Dining With An Ex Isn't A Great Idea

Why Dining With An Ex Isn't A Great Idea
Why Dining With An Ex Isn't A Great Idea

Video: Why Dining With An Ex Isn't A Great Idea

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Is it possible to return a lost love? Is there a chance for relationships with people who once dumped you? Family psychologist Marina Yakuba advises against returning to former lovers. Grievances inflicted on a beloved man leave a deep mark. Such a simple and terrible phrase "We need to part!" will spin in my head for a long time. And from Taisiya Povaliy's uncomplicated song "You are just an ex and uninvited, but still so desired" tears will involuntarily come. Alla Pugacheva teaches in such situations to buy a blank notebook and start writing a new novel. Everything that was written down before, close, and it is better to throw it away.

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“It's not so easy to do this,” says psychologist Marina Yakuba. - Immediately after parting, there will be a desire to call your former lover and arrange a meeting. After a breakup, girls tend to idealize past relationships. It is not quarrels and scandals that come to mind, but a happy vacation, gifts, surprises. From this, the ex-boyfriend acquires the features of a desired man, it seems that no one can compare with him anymore. The next stage comes when the abandoned girl begins to blame only herself for everything. And a photo of his new girlfriend with a perfect figure and a Hollywood smile gives rise to endless complexes. And at this moment, in no case should you start a new relationship. The point has been set, but you will be free only when you do not feel pain and resentment towards the ex-boyfriend, when you can calmly look at his avatar on social networks. " Imagine the moment when you have already begun to forget about your former boyfriend, and a guy even appeared on the horizon, showing you signs of attention, suddenly a call is heard from a former lover He says that he is passing through the city to which you fled to lick your wounds and wants to meet during the dinner. How to be? You have imagined this meeting so many times. They knew what you would be wearing, what kind of hairstyle you would do, what you would say to him and what he would answer. Diet, the gym, visiting a beautician and stylist, taking off on the career ladder - before, I wanted so much for the ex-boyfriend to appreciate your new look and success.

I lost weight, prettier, wiser, there was a twinkle in my eyes, but now you simply cannot have rivals. And now you are standing in front of the mirror and wondering if this dinner is needed with the one who betrayed you. Where will the meeting with the person you once loved so much lead to? The poems of Robert Rozhdestvensky immediately come to mind: “And a blind train flew from the past. As if in a long swoon, diving in a blizzard. There is such a station - first love. It's dark and cold there. I checked". But there are other examples as well. For example, how many people got married after meeting classmates. A professor at the University of California, author of the book "Lost and Found Lovers" Nancy Kalish was able to prove that you can step into the same river twice and repeated relationships end with a happy ending. And if you still spend the evening with your ex-lover, then how to behave? Play the role of a cute and enthusiastic girl or try on the image of a bitch? Try to humiliate, make a scandal? How you want him, looking at you, to bite his lips and regret that he could leave such a girl. What if it's all an illusion? He just needs to pass the time, and why not spend it with his ex-girlfriend. You can remember the carefree students. But can you laugh at funny stories from 10 years ago? Is it easy to be natural with him, to be yourself?

Marina Yakuba believes that dating with the past will not bring you any positive emotions. - Love also has a time limit. A strong attraction to a partner can be experienced for about three years, and then attachment, respect, friendship arise.If this does not happen, people break up. Of course, a meeting with a former lover can revive romantic desires, and this has been proven by scientists, but along with the feeling, old grudges will also surface. Happiness cannot be built where there was a place for betrayal and betrayal.

A classic example is the meeting of the heroine "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears" with her former lover 20 years later. Katya then said important words that must be remembered by all women who go on dates to ex-husbands. “Lord, I have imagined this meeting with you so many times. I came up with so many words. And they met - and there is nothing to say. At first, I still loved you very much, I thought that it was your mother who confused you. Then I hated you to death. Then I really wanted you to know about my successes and understand how wrong you were. And now I think now, if I hadn't been burned so badly then, nothing would have come of me. " It's good that this person was in your life, thank him for all the joyful moments, but give the opportunity to appear that same Gaucher from the train, a new lover. I wouldn't dine with my ex, but if you still want to go, go. In this case, there is only one advice: remain yourself, do not play any roles. There is another ideal scenario for meeting an ex at a restaurant: kiss him on the cheek, say a compliment, have a quick cup of coffee, and call a taxi. Slam the car door and blow him another kiss. When he runs after you on the sidewalk, look away and drive away. Bravo! You are gorgeous and indifferent!

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