The heroine of the film "How Much Do You Have?", Having read in a magazine that the average woman has about 10.5 lovers in her life, was horrified that this was too small a figure. Indeed, in her twenties, she has already managed to part with 19 lovers. And after all, she slept with everyone, trying to win their heart through sex.
The girl told her neighbor-friend about her feelings about the number of sexual partners. And a friend, being still that womanizer, asked her a counter question, why are the girls so fixated on quantity? But the trick is that it is not the girls who raise the topic "how much you had before me." Interestingly, if a man changes women like gloves, then even some kind of respect is imbued with him. They say it is in demand. If a woman allows herself, let us say modestly, to be frivolous, then her friends, colleagues and neighbors will be the first to condemn her with foam at the mouth, and will be branded a nymphomaniac or something worse behind her back. So psychologists and people who are simply wise in life advise, ladies to keep their mouths shut and not tell others the details of their personal lives, and especially those with whom they plan to link their fate and build family relationships.
Personally, I was always embarrassed by the phrase about guys who love to jump on other people's beds: "Here he will walk up and calm down." Every time I hear it, I imagine a dog who walks, walks, and cannot walk up in any way Or here's another: "Good for health." And immediately pops up in my head, like a message in a messenger: "What health and whose, if it works in the mode of a bee-carrier."
Be surprised how many videos have been posted on the Internet by PC users, psychologists and sexologists on the topic of how to find out "how many there were", and on how many forums there are heated debates about how many sexual partners a girl or woman is allowed to have, so that public opinion does not label she was like a slut, unfit for child production and marriage, and was not sent to the ditch or to the panel in the role of a prostitute. It turns out that this is such a vital question, who would have thought! As the famous comedian Arkady Raikin said, this energy, but for peaceful purposes
But back to the heroine of the Hollywood motion picture. She replied to her friend like this: All of you (men’s) have an ideal girl in your head,”she says. - And, if we have too large number (approx. Partners), we cannot become it. You think the ideal is the one that you are not ashamed to introduce to your family. She's smart, but not smarter than you. She bakes apple pie with your mom. Plays a ball with your sister, but when you are alone, puts on a latex catsuit and gives you, as if before the end of the world."
The guy, after such an explanation about obsession and quantity, was forced to admit that such a girl does not exist. Here, either experienced or chaste - choose what you want. Although the "nymphomaniac" was definitely not mistaken about the ideal.
How many guys do you need to go over to find the one you need?
For some, 10.5 lovers is too much, for others it is too small a figure. Where is the golden mean, we will try to find out.
There is hardly a couple in which a man, no matter how much he is in love, does not ask his partner the question, what is he in her account? It is easy to guess what women's revelations on this topic lead to. It is clear that sane people never answer frankly to such a question. They can evade an answer or interrupt an unpleasant interrogation evasively with the phrase: "You are the best with me" and a tender kiss. Although we live in the age of the sexual revolution, technological progress and emancipated women, we must not forget that gender equality does not extend to the sphere of intimate relationships.
From the point of view of psychology, for a woman, the number of partners is directly proportional to her self-esteem: the more there are, the less she respects herself. For men, the opposite is true: a man boasts that he slept with 30, they will think that he is a super lover. The paradox, judging by the reviews of the victims of such would-be heroes, everything is just the opposite. With a cheap rating, such individuals justify their own insignificance.
I must say that everyday views are somewhat different from the conclusions of psychologists. One often hears from elderly ladies regret that in their youth they were too touchy. Their husbands did not appreciate fidelity, and they did not manage to know the diversity in intimate life.
Anonymously on the Internet
In life, we are rarely frank for various reasons, and on the faceless Internet, under a fictitious nickname, it is very easy to speak out without fear of condemnation or contempt. One of the most common revelations in both sexes is the permissible number of sexual partners for women, and whether it is worth talking about this with your boyfriend or husband. People write a lot of things and even tell different things on the video about this. Most often it is delirium or such a river of slops that the ears wither - what kind of insults do not fly to women in a burqa. After reading, scrolling through and looking at a dozen forums, videos and revelations on how many men a woman can sleep with in order not to be known as a slut, I came to the conclusion that among those who dream of marrying virgins, most admit the limit of four lovers. I'll explain the arithmetic now. The first was a mistake of youth, I was a fool, I didn't understand. The second is a tragic coincidence. For example, rape, having a relationship with an alcoholic, drug addict, gambler, psycho, sadist, or married man. The third is a failed marriage. The fourth is an open option, the search for new love. All this, of course, is purely conditional.
According to the revelations of women and men on the topic of sexual partners, on average, Russian women have a history of no more than three lovers before a serious relationship that led to marriage and a family with the birth of children. Although often girls marry their first lover. On average in the civilized world, there are about 23 percent of them, that is, almost every fourth.
You understand that there are no rules here and cannot be. Life cannot be squeezed into the rigid framework of orthodox rules. It was so, it is and it will always be so.
On the road
Everyone in whom there is a soul (and as the well-known writer, mystic, spiritual teacher and composer George Gurdjieff wrote in esoteric and cultural circles - this is a luxury and not everyone has) dreams of finding their one or only in this life. Lucky or not - the grandmother said in two. The words of Socrates come to mind, answering the man's question whether he should marry or become a monk like this: "If you are lucky, you will know love, but not - a philosopher reflecting on the meaning of life." Great luck, to meet someone with whom you can live your whole life in love, the first time. But, alas, not everyone is so lucky. Some, like a passing relay, toil all their lives, trying to find their soul mate. But no matter how it was, to condemn or count how many unsuccessful attempts there were, only a fool will be. A clever one understands when you meet your person (the one that is intended for you by heaven, God, fate), no matter who, when, how much, why.
In addition to the above, as a topic for reflection, there is a biological concept that originated in the time of Aristotle - telegony. The concept was especially popular in the USSR in the 40-50s of the 20th century and, together with the 12 sexual commandments of the revolutionary proletariat, formed the basis of the highly moral principles of building the Soviet family as a unit of society. Today telegony is considered to be something of a myth and prejudice, although from time to time there are researchers from the scientific world who try to bring the concept to a scientific basis and research.Nevertheless, Telegonia has many adherents.
In addition, there are teachings about karma, karmic belt, aura, twin flames, karmic partners and soul mates. In accordance with these teachings, all negative accumulations of past and current life are deposited in a person's aura below the belt, like in a bag. It is a kind of division of energy in a person, as in an integral energy system, into fractions, if it is permissible to put it that way. With intimacy, not only biological fluids are exchanged, but both positive spiritual and pure energy, and negative, which resembles the experience from physics - the movement of water in communicating vessels. Hence the conclusion that the more sexual partners there are, the less remains of their own individuality, and what then does a person become filled with?