“I am a woman with charm, nothing more. And after all, no one realizes that I have made this charm for myself, built it up,”said Susanna, a friend of the main character of the movie“The Most Charming and Attractive”. Outwardly, it was, however, in her personal life, not everything turned out to be as ideal as the image she created.
Perm stylist Anastasia Yeshchenko says that there are many such women in Perm. They may look stunning, but this does not bring them happiness. Others, on the other hand, wear expressionless clothing, trying to blend in with the surrounding landscape. The result is the same. In the meantime, a change in appearance can really change your life for the better, but how can you do it?
Details - in the material "AiF-Prikamye".
Straighten your shoulders
Marina Medvedeva, "AiF-Prikamye": Girls come to you with a request to change their style of clothing, but what really lies behind this desire?
Anastasia Yeschenko: Of course, they are looking for deeper changes. My colleague and I came up with the Transfiguration project and we invite girls who want to change their style. Sometimes in a few hours they change beyond recognition, and not only and not so much outwardly. One of the participants came to us in a black turtleneck and jeans. She stood in a closed position with her fists clenched. When we combed her hair and dressed her, her shoulders straightened, her behavior appeared playful. And how the men looked at her! She began to feel completely differently.
- Not everyone knows how to combine things correctly. Can you develop a sense of style?
- A sense of style is still a predisposition. I doubt that you can develop it. But you can understand how to combine things, which silhouettes are relevant and which ones suit you. If you want to dress beautifully and stylishly, I advise you to constantly "keep your finger on the pulse", since there is a lot of information on the Web and in magazines now. Look, study. It simplifies the task that now you can combine a variety of things and you can freely experiment. For a woman, this is always inspiration.
- We have all seen TV shows where the participants are stylishly dressed and transformed. All these women then return home. How long will the effect of change last?
- If a woman decided to change her life, then you can go in different ways. Indeed, you can start with external changes, that is, change your style (clothes, makeup, hairstyle). It really will energize. But if you limit yourself to only this, then the effect will be temporary and then there is a risk of quickly returning to your old life. The main thing is to maintain the state of an amazing gorgeous woman. And this can only be done if you begin to cultivate self-love. You need to find out what is happening to you, which drops your self-esteem. And this is a deeper and longer conversation.
When we started working with girls, we realized that our women have a big problem with self-acceptance. And it all starts from childhood. When a girl is young, she is often loved and cherished just like that. She gets older, goes to school, and here they begin to compare her with someone, there is a pursuit of grades. Parents show love only if she did something good from their point of view. As a result, the girl gets the feeling that she must deserve love. So he lives with it all his life.
- Why do women "roll back", returning to their previous state?
- Often the reason is that they are not supported by the environment. For example, husbands sometimes begin to devalue and humiliate women simply because they realize that they have begun to make demands on them that did not exist before. In addition, husbands are afraid of losing the stability that they have and the comforts that they have. A man who does not want to change can leave or a woman simply cannot be with him. But if he accepts a renewed, beautiful and confident woman, he can show his best sides. A strong man will follow a woman. For example, my husband and I went through very deep crises, both of them underwent a serious internal transformation.
Swimming pool without bottom
- Women really want change. On the catcher and the beast runs - like mushrooms after the rain, numerous courses on the "disclosure of femininity" are spawning. Can they help at all?
- Women often praise them and believe that they have an effect. But the truth is, these courses are mostly superficial. And this is easy to explain, since many people usually gather at them and they are "pumped up" with energy. Hence the success of all motivational trainings. But this effect does not last long and deep down does not change anything. It's like a pool without a bottom - it is impossible to draw water into it, first you need to patch up the bottom. When there is no internal support, any external circumstance will throw you off balance. All these women then get big problems, because they begin to adapt to those around them, they lose themselves. They told them, for example, that you need to serve your husband, and they do this, shifting the boundaries of what is permissible. They expect that the husband will throw everything at their feet, but he, on the contrary, begins to behave aggressively.
- Now there are women who are sure that only skirts should be worn. Moreover, long. Will it help you become more feminine?
- Our psyche is polar. If you have been in one pole for a long time, then you can be thrown into the opposite one. Many women who try to be feminine with skirts are actually very strong and punchy. But the truth is, neither skirts nor the Vedas will help. A strong woman will remain that way, and why change it? It is important to learn to accept yourself, remove blocks and restrictions, learn to love yourself. Then there will be no need to punch through the wall with your head, acting like men, or, breaking yourself, wear only long skirts. You have to understand that the path of change is the path for the brave, but the effort is worth it.
If you are promised that you will change in a day or a month, then this is nonsense. If you do not have serious life traumas, then you will need about a year of constant work on yourself to change. And if there is, then it may take a little for your psyche to accept a new experience of dealing with the surrounding reality.
Take care of yourself
- Why work on yourself at all?
“If we don’t do this, then we will continue to live in shame, fears and complexes that we received from previous generations. I will say that, perhaps, will cause resistance in some women - you need to put yourself first. A child cannot be taught anything - he copies his parents. Therefore, when a woman is realized in her and the children grow up confident, able to achieve their goal. Of course, the child needs to be monitored, but you cannot make an end in itself from the assessments and carry around 10 circles. Much more effective to take care of yourself.
- Many people want to change, but they don't do anything. How to move from desire to action?
- Usually the crisis is pushing for change. A woman should become dissatisfied with the state of affairs that is now. Until you get to this point, little will change. For every woman, different things can serve as an incentive. For me, this is a desire for a better life for me and my daughter. Creating a better future for children can be a very powerful motivation.
