If you look at the historical documents, then for many peoples the house was traditionally divided into male and female halves. For intimate relationships, the husband either invited his wife to his place, as in Ancient Egypt, or he himself went to her bedroom, as among the ancient Greeks and Romans, or the medieval European nobility.
Today, in many wealthy families, separate bedrooms for spouses are commonplace. There are also many who, even in a mansion, cannot imagine how a husband and wife can sleep in different rooms. But after all, having got married, young people cannot live an hour without each other. For some, their honeymoon lasts for years. When and for what reason does the moment come after which the couple decide to sleep separately?
“Two in bed. The social system of couples who sleep in the same bed”- this book was written by researcher, psychologist Paul Rosenblatt. In it, he tries to find an answer to the question of why spouses decide to sleep separately. According to the author, there can be many such reasons. One of them is snoring, which not only does not allow the other half to sleep, but, causing irritation, can cause hypertension and atherosclerosis. British scientists have found that snoring reduces sex drive in every fourth couple. And American researchers have come to the conclusion that a wife sleeping next to her husband has a negative effect on his brain. However, according to the American National Sleep Foundation, more than 60 percent of Americans choose to sleep together. Polls in Russia have shown that this figure is about 50 percent. 40 percent of Russians prefer separate sleep, and 10 percent have not decided exactly what is more convenient for them. Russian psychologists are confident that the number of people who want to sleep separately would be greater if the square meters of housing allowed. Many factors can influence the decision to sleep separately, for example, the temperature in the room - someone likes to blow snow through an open window transom, while someone prefers that the room be very warm. Obesity of one of the spouses, and sometimes both, is also not the best ally for a restful sleep - a very fat person always needs more space, air, space. The restless sleep of a husband or wife does not contribute to the proper rest of the other half - it is not very pleasant when they throw their legs at you several times during the night, push them in the side with their elbows, or touch them with their hands on the face. A conversation in a dream is also typical for restless people (men who have passed hot spots, for many years in their dreams "go on the attack", call to go into battle, "save" the wounded - and all this with shouts aloud). Finally, a spouse's late pregnancy does not in any way contribute to joint good rest. And her husband is afraid to hurt her inadvertently, and she herself sleeps very lightly, rolls over with difficulty, often gets up. Psychologist Anetta Orlova sees nothing wrong with the fact that the spouses sleep together. But this can in no way testify to strong marital ties, and even more so, great love.
The latter Anette, omitting romance, characterizes as a certain kind of reaction to each other, in which specific receptors are involved. If the spouses have been sleeping in the same bed for many years, then the reaction, according to the psychologist, is dulled. Orlova believes that sometimes it is simply necessary to disperse to different bedrooms in order to awaken the old passion. One of the leading sex therapists in St. Petersburg, Boris Alekseev, is sure that it is impossible to imagine some spouses in more than one bed, such will not even fall asleep alone. Warmth, smell, breath of a loved one have become an integral part of sleep. For such couples, even the snoring of the other half is something like a serenade under the window.But those who decide to sleep in different rooms probably have serious reasons.
Sexologist Boris Alekseev sees one of them in the lack of potency in men, caused by boredom. Such people get used to the woman's body, they are not able to experience either the novelty of feelings, or the joy of carnal pleasures. According to the sexologist, this is one of the main reasons for divorce in 40-year-old men. But this can be avoided by trying to disperse to different bedrooms. Sometimes it is enough for a man to spend several nights alone, so that he again “went to conquer” his beloved. If a man sleeps (meaning falls asleep and sleeps) with a woman, his character does not change for the better, says psychotherapist Alexander Odintsov. In the character of a man, female notes begin to slip: he becomes much softer, begins to pay more attention to his own appearance. Psychotherapist Odintsov believes that this is how metrosexuals appear. Psychologist Katerina Boychenko draws attention to the eternal desire of men to keep their distance. According to the expert, in this way the strong half of humanity defends the right to independence and does not allow getting used to a woman. Katerina Boyko considers this to be the correct position that women should use to their advantage. She advises women to remain UFOs - unidentified favorite objects. Sleeping in different bedrooms is perfect for this. At least, the husband will not see his wife sleepy, shaggy, with traces of a mask on his face rumpled after sleep.
For a long time, the joint and separate sleep of the spouses was studied by Neil Stanley, a scientist at the University of Surrey (Great Britain). He argued for sleeping together as well as separate. For example, he said that the advantages of sleeping together are avoiding the risk of possible cooling of spouses if they do not sleep together; for the elderly, this is insurance in case someone becomes ill; finally, sharing a bed is a visible sign of a good relationship between spouses. And that's all. But Neil Stanley had eight pluses of separate sleep. Among them is the disappearance of reasons for quarrels due to the fact that a beloved dog or cat of one will certainly take a place on the bed, that someone constantly pulls the blanket over himself, watches TV for a long time, snores again, and so on. From this, the scientist concluded that separate sleep has much more positive sides.
In fact, psychologists are sure: sleeping together or separately is the decision only for the spouses. It is impossible to take into account all the nuances, habits, character traits, daily routine in order to give everyone the same advice. Sleep the way it suits you - it is no coincidence that this area is called intimate, that is, deeply personal.