So it happened. Sex on the first date. Or the second. In general, faster than you usually allow yourself. In the morning you wake up with a bunch of questions popping into your head. Or not in the morning, but in the afternoon - it doesn't matter. The WMJ.ru expert answers the most popular ones!
Evgeny Voltov, coach, psychologist, television expert, @zhenyavoltov:
Is he sleeping with everyone like that?
Men are polygamous. And the one who says that it is not is lying. They flirt even when they are in a regular relationship, and they certainly pay attention to the women around them. But sex on the first date doesn't mean that he sleeps with everyone!
What will he think?
He won’t think anything! Understand that if a guy comes on a date with serious intentions and he likes you, that won't change. If, in his opinion, there was “just sex” between you, then no matter how hard you try, no matter what goddess you are in bed, everything will remain so. Try to understand before intimacy what his plans are. By the way, it's better not to invite him to your home. The hotel won't do either. Few men are serious about a woman who, on the first date, invited him to her place.
How to behave in the morning?
No need to pretend to be Samantha Jones: you care, and it's obvious. But starting a "serious conversation" is also not worth it: it is he who scares away, and not your "availability". The main thing is not to harbor unnecessary illusions. It is best to act as if you were just sleeping in the same bed, adjusted for the lack of feigned immunity. Give him a kiss on the cheek in the morning, make coffee and do not ask about what will happen to you next. Better tell us about your plans for the day. A man will think that he did not "hit", even if in fact it is not.
Who then has to write first?
To write the very first or not, you decide. Fortunately, now even a special reason is not needed: you can just send him a funny picture in the evening and ask how you are doing. Or you don't have to contact him: choose your most stunning photo, compose a funny post to it and put everything on Instagram. He will read exactly what is addressed to him.
But the number one tip in this business is - don't seek advice! The dumbest mistake girls make is to panic and call a particularly chaste friend. Well, what hint, besides “Block it and do not write yourself, and what were you thinking about?”, Will she give? If you really want to talk, dial the number of your male best friend. He will ask the details that your new acquaintance has probably paid attention to, and will help you to let go of the situation a little.
What to do in the second meeting?
You certainly shouldn't behave very liberally and pretend to be a female praying mantis. If you demonstrate that you do not care, the man will instantly add you to the list of "stars on duty" for a regular pastime without serious intentions. After sex, the communication mode, or rather the message, is important to change a little. Avoid talking like "your boy" or "let's talk about women, brother." Unless, of course, you yourself have decided to get rid of it.
What if he's missing?
If he hasn’t been texting or calling for four days, he’s probably just very busy. Is there a chance to "tame" him? Yes. Show that you are in demand. A photo with a bouquet of flowers and the inscription "What a pleasant surprise" on the social network will not repel, but, on the contrary, will make him think: "Hey, hey, who is that hanging around her?" A little note: the trick will work if the object of your dreams still considers you as a potential life partner. Well, at least a little.