"A Magnificent Wedding - A Sacrifice To Hymen." A Writer About Family And The Struggle For Love

"A Magnificent Wedding - A Sacrifice To Hymen." A Writer About Family And The Struggle For Love
"A Magnificent Wedding - A Sacrifice To Hymen." A Writer About Family And The Struggle For Love

Video: "A Magnificent Wedding - A Sacrifice To Hymen." A Writer About Family And The Struggle For Love

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In Russia, some do not in principle celebrate Valentine's Day. We have our own holiday - the Day of Family, Love and Fidelity. His patrons Peter and Fevronya, who lived happily ever after, amazed everyone with their love and died on the same day, are canonized. Love, family, loyalty and betrayal are feelings and concepts that everyone interprets in their own way. A writer, an engineer of human souls, is supposed to understand this delicate topic by profession. About what love is, what is the mystical meaning of a wedding and why the "Turgenev girls" went out of fashion, we asked Larisa Novoselskaya.


A loveless romance is absurd

Svetlana Lazebnaya, AiF-Yug: Once, as a girl, I wrote down wise thoughts in my diary: “Love is a book, and a book is a novel. A novel is a fairy tale, and a fairy tale is a deception. " That is why, on the eve of the holiday of love and family, it was with the writer that I decided to talk about love. Tristan and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet, Anna Karenina, Natasha Rostova … It was impossible for the writers to do without heroines, yearning for the man of their dreams? Without a love line at all?

Larisa Novoselskaya: Will you read such a novel?

- If only Sorokin or Pelevin …

“Well, these“postmodern petrels”also have“Marina's Thirty Love”or the robot doll Sura, who acts as the hero's wife. A romance without love is absurd. The word itself means both genre and human feeling, without which the book does not exist.

- Does life without love exist?

- I have never seen anything like this in my life. Maybe she lived a little? That would be 100 or 200 years … Just kidding. Although I am very interested in whether humanity will develop according to the biblical commandment "Be fruitful and multiply", or become one big "Childfree" ("Childfree" is an English word that in Russian means "freedom from children" - Ed.). It is already clear that the transformation of the institution of marriage is taking place, people feel it and try to resist. How? Differently. For example, they arrange magnificent weddings against the background of material distress. Recently, a friend of mine complained that all the "German" money (she was recognized as a victim of the war and receives compensation from Germany) had invested in the wedding of her grandson. Last year, I also spent money on the wedding of my granddaughter, and the young ones fled. And suddenly I thought: what if people sacrifice to the god Hymen with an expensive celebration? Conspiracy against dislike? If only it helped! Indeed, according to statistics, 800 divorces happen per 1000 marriages per year!

Salvation from loneliness

- Well, yes, somehow many do not have a family life, I see from my friends. And in literature, in the cinema, it is somehow bleak. Earlier in the books they wrote "They lived happily ever after", but now, it seems, the authors sit in ambush, and then jump out and kill everyone. Why, why so gloomy?

- Because both readers and viewers themselves are ready for an ambush, hope for it and freeze in sweet anticipation. There is even a corresponding term "suspense" - translated from English - the expectation of horror. And how voluptuous they destroy heroes in TV programs like "Let's Get Married" or "Man and Woman"! They kill not physically yet, but morally, which is even worse! They reduce the process of the sacrament of marriage to continuous scandals and find a source of happiness in tinned throats. Recently, the TVC channel happily reported that "Nonna Mordyukova could not do without a man for a day!" Even if the dead were not smeared with mud, they cannot answer! I understand how it is profitable for cunning and cynical people to make money on an altered consciousness, they do not think about the fact that moral cripples shake the foundations of the family, and therefore the state, which we reverently revere. It’s not hard to figure out that the fashionable politics of immoralism will someday do a very disservice to everyone.

- Do you think that the content that we receive and digest depends on the needs of the people themselves?

- Well, people may in the end approve of public executions in squares … Although I am not sure that everything depends on "propaganda and agitation", it would be too simple. We participate only in the first action of the "society of the spectacle." What will happen next? We have not read the play. The directors are different. Will there be a major shift in human relationships against the background of lengthening life? Prolongation of youth? Gender Equality? If so, in which direction? Old moralizing films like "What if this is love?" will be called back to chastity? Or will the sorting of vices continue in different versions of the Garden Ring, and the population will be allowed to sin to the fullest? It's hard to predict. But judging by the fact that naturalness is leaving, and young people see the world as a computer game, Turgenev girls and boys are definitely out of fashion.

- But the family is not going out of fashion?

- Yes, the family saves people from loneliness, and children - from the aimlessness of existence. Love is a great and light force - it pushes people into each other's arms. But not everyone can match it. This, by the way, is the meaning of my book "We Poor, Poor …" Poor not in financial terms, but in spiritual and emotional terms. We suffer from the cruelty of our loved ones, we blame them, we love them, but … we do not know how to love. Watch Zvyagintsev's sensational film "Dislike" with an unpretentious topical story about a typical young family on the verge of divorce, with an unnecessary child missing. The husband and wife constantly scandal and dream of a new, happy life with a new man and woman … This life comes, but everything repeats itself: there is no happiness, because these people do not know how to love. And they don't know how to learn.

Why did Gerasim drown Mumu?

- In general, as A.P. Chekhov wrote, if you marry for love or without love, will the result be the same?

- Not everything is so gloomy, especially since the classic himself found his happiness. And in our time there are many long-lived families where harmony and harmony reign. What is their secret? I think it's not that the intensity of feelings does not subside until the golden wedding. It's just that people start to need each other. Become friends, like-minded people, relatives. Have a culture of relationships. They do not lose their dignity, but they also do not destroy someone else's. And … they are not affected by the propaganda that inspires a silly young woman that divorce is not scary. What if she (with the child!) Leaves her husband, she immediately meets a millionaire! Every evening a hellish potion of envy, jealousy, dirt is brewed and poured from the screen onto an empty head. So is it surprising that only 20 percent of marriages do not fall apart in the first year?

- And what to do?

- Why did Gerasim drown Mumu? An old joke, but the spears around the problem break for two hundred years. One thing is clear: the man is not a dog, but he killed himself! Tore my heart out of my chest! It means that love must be fought for, it must be protected. Tolerant of compromises, she does not tolerate betrayal and … laziness. After all, we are responsible for those whom we loved and for those who loved us.

And what will happen next … I often remember the cult novel of my youth "The Andromeda Nebula", which describes the society of the future, where there is no place for a family. People simply meet and simply pass on the fruits of their meetings for education to the state. They are happy with the writer Efremov. But does the reader believe this sterile, glamorous happiness? No, of course not. It is somehow insipid, tasteless. Therefore, no one reads this book anymore …

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