Strong and assertive men who strive to be leaders always and everywhere, at some moments become timid and fearful. We are talking about the fears that arise in the stronger sex in the process of intimate relationships. These phobias can not only puzzle or scare men, but also reduce
libido, turning physical intimacy into torture.
Experts say that almost any male individual is haunted for life by three main fears that haunt her day or night. According to statistics, a healthy and energetic man thinks about sex once every two hours. At the same time, he recalls his fears whenever he has a clear intention to make love. If the phobias manage to hit the male nerves, then sex, alas, will not work, or it will be so crumpled that your partner will rush to pretend to be asleep or talk about feeling unwell.
“The psychology of men is somewhat different than that of women,” says Mikhail DVORKIN, a sex therapist. - Unlike the fair sex, who quickly react to nervous shocks and just as quickly move away from them, men get upset for a long time and with consequences. And sexual fears not only reduce male libido, but also add self-doubt to them.
* First fear:
"THE SIZE IS NOT WHAT SHE WAITED."
Commentary of the expert: “This is an eternal male fear that begins in boys and ends (if it ends) in deep old people (they already cannot have sex with all their desire),” says Mikhail DVORKIN. - Men study literature on this topic, consult with friends, compare and so on. Actually, this whole process is a bit like a woman's excitement about her bust. Ladies dream of having big breasts, and due to the fact that over time it loses its former elasticity, they seek to enlarge it with the help of operations. Men also want to lengthen their "dignity", but unlike women do not rush under the surgeon's knife, but only worry and continue to dream. The phobia of the "little penis" is a virtual fear that affects men at the subconscious level. They are not even really able to explain what is worse for them - not to live up to the woman's expectations or to lose in comparison with the former boyfriend. The most interesting thing is that at the same time they are completely unaware of the expectations of their partner, and even more so they do not know anything about the "centimeters" of her former partners.
I am absolutely sure that it is extremely difficult to convince men of being too suspicious, but I will try. The phobia about the length of their dignity does not stand up to any criticism, if only because in this particular case, size does not matter and many women understand this. Much more important is the experience of a man in love affairs and his knowledge of female physiology. It is then that he will be able to give his partner real pleasure.
By the way, during my practice I have often met “problem” men, whose “dignity”, on the contrary, significantly exceeded the average. And they, believe me, were no less unhappy, and perhaps even more upset than those who believe that their dignity is too small. Let me explain why. Large size is an unconditional discomfort for a woman who experiences physical pain in such cases. Because of this, she cannot concentrate on the necessary sensations and get pleasure, therefore sex in this case is pleasant only for her partner. It is worth fearing to hurt a woman more than worrying about the size of your manhood in advance."
* Second fear:
"TOO EARLY FINISH"
Specialist comment: “This phobia torments men every time they make love,” says Mikhail DVORKIN. - And here, too, there is nothing terrible that could humiliate them in the eyes of a woman. Of course, there are many reasons for a quick orgasm, from the period of hormonal maturation to serious illnesses; but the most common of these is inability to control oneself. Many of us cannot cope with our emotions, so we do some things and then repent. Premature ejaculation is proof that you are not quite capable of mastering your own actions. In order to get sensations in unison with your partner, you need to be able to take breaks, that is, stop in time for a short break in order to restrain pleasure, and then diligently continue making love.
You should not be afraid of premature ejaculation in advance and worry about it - this will ruin your mood and reduce self-confidence. In the end, the man has other "improvised means" with which he can please the woman. Try to learn to control yourself, train yourself to restrain the peak of pleasure, and then you will not have such embarrassment. By the way, if you believe the research of experts, some women are excited by the process of male ejaculation, so even if it happened at the wrong time, do not stop and try to bring the work started to its logical conclusion."
* Third fear:
"THIS TIME MISSING IS POSSIBLE"
Specialist comment: “One of the main reasons for this widespread male phobia is the feelings that a partner experiences from various nervous shocks,” says Mikhail DVORKIN. - He worked hard, accumulated a lot of negative emotions, say, because something did not go as planned. He is squeezed out like a lemon, but even in this state, the man still wants sex. Moreover, he is quite capable of these relationships, if not for idle reflections and phobia. “I’m tired, I don’t have the strength, and what if it doesn’t work?” With the arrival of such thoughts, partners become prisoners of self-hypnosis, which, indeed, leads to unpleasant results. Obviously, when you are called a pig for the hundredth time, you may well be grunting. And if you are already known as impotent….
First of all, you need to understand that an early global loss of libido does not threaten you, since nervous overstrain cannot be the reason for its absence. It is important to recognize this as a medical fact in order to increase self-confidence. Try to avoid such thoughts altogether, as they insidiously put pressure on the psyche, adding negativity to the day's overexertion. Even if you feel that there is not enough charge and today it will not work out, do not lose courage and hope for your physical reserves. You will need this in order to convince your partner if something happens that the reason for your "temporary disability" is not her appearance and lack of love, but your accumulated fatigue."