Loneliness On The Web. Stories Of People Looking For Love On Dating Sites

Loneliness On The Web. Stories Of People Looking For Love On Dating Sites
Loneliness On The Web. Stories Of People Looking For Love On Dating Sites

Video: Loneliness On The Web. Stories Of People Looking For Love On Dating Sites

Video: Searching for love to escape ourselves | Hayley Quinn | TEDxUniversityofNevada 2022, December
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Marriages are made in heaven, and meetings are increasingly taking place on the Internet. Even 10-20 years ago, we could hardly imagine how it is possible to fall in love with a portrait on a monitor screen, but today, Internet dating is no longer scary, and destinies are increasingly connected by the Network. "AiF-Chelyabinsk" has collected stories of people looking for love on dating sites.

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Date under anesthesia

Marina and Alexander Sedov, together for 5 years:

Marina: I was already over 30. There were already two unsuccessful marriages behind me. On the hands - my son. But I didn't despair. I knew I would be happy. They advised me to register on a dating site. I did so. In the evenings after work, after putting my son to bed, I sat down to answer messages wishing to get to know each other. Most suggested a relationship without commitment. It didn't suit me. I wanted a family, an opportunity to take care of someone. After a while, it came to goodbye. Leaving my son to my mother, I went on several dates. Having met with two applicants, I immediately realized that it was not mine, but when I met Sasha, then, as they say, it jumped that I could be with him. We met on a bench near the Opera and Ballet Theater. As it turned out, in our city he was on a business trip. I had a tooth pulled out that evening in dentistry. I had no intention of going on a date, but then I decided.

Naturally, when we met, I was silent, because after anesthesia I could not speak. He spoke more that evening and turned out to be a very interesting conversationalist. We walked the streets, then went to a cafe. They met for about three months, he did not even try to kiss me, which indicated the seriousness of his intentions. Then he immediately proposed to me, and we began to live together. It has its drawbacks, but there are many more advantages. We have a joint baby. His relationship with his son also immediately developed. He loves me and children. I love him endlessly and am happy that we are together. I advise all my lonely friends to believe in your lucky star and look for it on the Internet.

Alexander: I lived in Bashkiria, and Marina in Chelyabinsk. If not for the Internet, we would hardly have met in real life. At the time of their acquaintance, he was divorced. I understood that I didn't want to be alone. Going to get acquainted in nightclubs, on the street or in the park is somehow undignified. Earlier, when friends were single, we had the same interests, one company. And here everyone has their own families, their own problems. I am glad that I found my happiness named Marina.

I recognized my soul mate from the comment

Sergey: I never believed in dating on the Internet. He believed that this could not lead to a serious relationship, but by the will of fate he found his soul mate on the Web. As it turned out, Yulia, on the contrary, believed in fate and hung out on dating sites, but nothing serious came of it. Later it turned out that we had mutual friends in Odnoklassniki. One of my friends posted a photo from the trip, and I commented, they say, travel is the lot of the lonely. Julia saw this comment and asked her friends to introduce her to a lonely commentator, that is, to me. That's how we found each other. In 2014 we had a wedding, our daughter will soon be 4 years old. I am proud to be a father and happy to be a husband.

Yulia: Everything was approximately the same. The Internet and mutual friends helped us.

Liar on a white car

Before meeting "their" person, single people have to go on several dates. Sometimes situations are just funny.

Svetlana Tsubykina: I searched for my happiness on the Internet for a long time and found the only one whom I drew for myself in fairy dreams. Together the second year and my lover suits me completely. I was already desperate to find my ideal. But now I know that he is and he is next to me. There were a lot of odd stories when meeting on the Internet.I remember very much the date when a white Mercedes was waiting for me at the appointed place, a man in a white suit got out of it and put me in a car with a leather interior, and then took me to a cafe, and we ended up in a self-service student "nausea". At that moment, I laughed out loud and ran away, imagining how he would lie to me all his life.

Looking for a lover of pies and cabbage soup

Online dating stories don't always end in strong relationships.

Elena Zhukova, 35 years old, three children: Divorced her husband two years ago. He went to another and quickly got married. Out of anguish and resentment, I tried to look for my happiness on the Internet, but never found it. Domestic women who are ready to bake hot buns for breakfast and greet them with delicious soup after work are not in vogue today. There were real photos on my page. There were no familiar selfies and stretches in the fitness room. They looked through the page and even wrote some of them, but it never came to goodbyes.

One, who was aiming at suitors, lost interest in me when he found out that there are more than seven thousand kilometers between our cities. The longest correspondence was with a man who worked as a designer at the municipal history museum. The liberal arts education of both provided many topics for communication, but not for serious relationships. The internet epic ended when a message that appeared on my page read: “Sun! What are you doing here? They are looking for a husband here only for one night. Run away from here before you are offended. " It seemed very sincere to me. Senseless correspondence, looking through the profiles of “new” people who knocked on friends took up a lot of time. I never returned to dating on the Internet. I bake pies, cook soups, raise children and believe that love will find me by the delicious aroma from the window of my kitchen.

Blind date

Marat and Elfiya Zainulov

Marat: I met my wife on a dating site when I was very over 30. There was not even a profile photo on her page, but something caught me in her. I corresponded with her blindly and of course I was very intrigued to invite her on the first date. From my experience with girls, I know that photos and reality may differ, but here I had no idea what I was going to see. She is 12 years younger than me. Young, beautiful, slim, lively and interesting in communication. I liked her appearance and her voice, and the fact that our views on life are similar, we realized even before we met from the correspondence. We have been together for 7 years. I was not mistaken in my choice.

Elfiya: I was brought up in a traditional Muslim family, so I was not allowed to show my photo on the Internet. I don’t do it now. By nature, I am very shy and it is difficult for me to get to know someone for a serious relationship. I am the only daughter in the family, and my parents were immediately categorically against civil marriage. Therefore, the question of marriage arose soon enough, and I am glad that Marat decided on this. As far as I know, he was a bachelor for a long time and so he would have remained, if not for the strictness of our family traditions.

On a note:

In order not to be disappointed in people when meeting over the Internet, you need to follow simple rules:

Do not register on little-known dating sites. When registering, it is advisable to use a separate mailbox created especially for those wishing to meet. It is undesirable to indicate the name, surname, town, place of work or date of birth in the mailbox address. Before starting communication, carefully read the questionnaire of the future interlocutor. If the data about a person seemed strange and contradictory to you, it is better to refuse communication. You should not immediately agree to private messages outside the dating site. You should be alerted if the interlocutor asks you to give him your phone number or asks to send money. Links sent to you by an unfamiliar interlocutor can also turn out to be dangerous. They may contain computer viruses. If it comes to a real date, be vigilant.Do not drink alcohol, refuse to meet on your or his territory, confining yourself to a crowded place. Ask someone you know to make a follow-up call during your date. Tell your loved one where you are going and what time you plan to be home.

Comment

Evgenia Bazunova, psychologist:

Man by nature is a social animal. He can comfortably exist in a group of his own kind. He creates pairs for reproduction and procreation. It is interesting that society gives a certain assessment to a person, depending on whether he has a family or a couple. If you did not get married before a certain age and did not find a couple, then society hangs a label that you are not like everyone else, abnormal, unhealthy. Many are afraid of this condemnation and, in order to be like everyone else, start a family and give birth, fearing not to fulfill a certain social order.

Another thing is that the pace and dynamics of life have increased dramatically over the past few years, and there are still 24 hours in the day. During this time, you have to do a lot. The requirements are such that a person must be successful everywhere - whether he is building a career, whether he is engaged in himself, whether he is fond of something. The world has become fast, dynamic and very dense. There is no place in it for long meetings, courtship, gradual recognition of each other. A city person often simply does not have time for this. The Internet space is to help such people. On the Internet, people are concentrated in interest groups. Going to a dating site, a person will meet those who, like him, dream of relationships of different levels and quality. He only has to find a person close in spirit, interests and personal data. Here he can preliminarily communicate with the interlocutor he likes, and then switch to the format of meetings. He can also easily refuse to communicate with unpleasant interlocutors by pressing a button. Online dating is neither good nor bad, it is an opportunity, and everyone has the right to decide whether to use it or not.

Based on the experience of my clients, I came to the conclusion that the guarantee of a happy acquaintance on the Internet is the maximum honesty and openness. The more truthful information you provide about yourself, the greater the chance that you will find the same sincere and honest friend and partner. If you create an image on the site by adding the desired qualities and traits to it, then the interlocutor cannot avoid disappointment from communicating with you.

I analyzed internet dating sites as a psychologist. Out of a hundred people who wished to communicate with me, there were only 2-3 people who were really interesting and promising in communication. I think they could have a long-term relationship. Another question is whether you are ready to appear before the new person as you really are, and not deceive yourself or him. It should be understood that there are no guarantees here. You can search for happiness on the Internet for five years, and you will meet it in a bakery near your house.

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