Not only music and film stars, closely watched by tabloid photographers, but ordinary people, after parting with a loved one, strive to change themselves and their lives. And this is, first of all, psychological salvation from a pressing problem.
"Let him envy"
The first reason why girls change their image after their beloved man has left them is a persistent intention to prove to him and to himself that he has lost something valuable. That is why ladies, who have grown fat during a quiet life, begin to rapidly lose weight, radically dye their hair. If earlier they did not have enough money to visit a beautician, now the last funds go down to beauty procedures.
American psychologist and publicist Frank Jeffkins argues that in the desire to reach the heights of the desired image, there is an important potential for an internal growth strategy, which allows you to wishful thinking.
As a result, girls who have changed externally and internally become more self-confident. At first, they just want to demonstrate their "new self" to their former lover, but over time, this desire is more and more leveled. Gradually, ladies begin to notice that other, no less attractive men pay attention to them. Compliments of strangers, admiration of girlfriends and their own understanding of achieving effective results are increasingly obscuring the memories of the ex and his last offensive statements. And then in the life of the renewed beauty, as a rule, the next lover appears and all thoughts are concentrated around the outbreak of the novel. A change of image is often the catalyst for new love.
"My revenge is terrible"
Another, no less common reason why people abandoned by a loved one change themselves is a desire to take revenge. This happens in both men and women. One famous American athlete once told reporters that she became a master of sports in fencing precisely because she dreamed of challenging her ex to a duel and stabbing him. However, constant training changed not only the appearance of this girl, but also her whole future life. From an ordinary overweight, bespectacled student, she turned into a professional athlete, began to fly to competitions in different countries and completely forgot about her revenge on a man who once left her at the most difficult moment in her life.
But it also happens that the desire for revenge changes a person for the worse. As a rule, unsightly young people abandoned by a beauty dream of becoming a "macho" and taking revenge on a girl, moreover, in such a way as to harm her appearance. There are many stories about how an ordinary, quiet man suddenly turned into a creepy criminal type. The desire to appear cool and cocky with an admixture of a former lover's thirst for revenge often pushes a person to a crime - kidnapping a woman or deliberately causing harm to her health and appearance. And then - either prison or living in the wild among notorious criminal elements.
Domestic psychologist Svetlana Gubanova believes that the best thing that a person subject to love revenge can do is to become happy in another life that follows different rules and with completely different habits.
"It's not me"
Much less often, after unsuccessful personal relationships, a person seeks, along with the image, to completely change himself in order to hide behind a new personality. As a rule, this happens to people who are self-confident, self-sufficient, but who have come under the serious influence of their soul mate. And then, when the beloved leaves their life, then emptiness arises in it.The abandoned individual suddenly sharply realizes that he is nothing, there is nothing valuable and attractive in him, although he has always considered himself to be such; talented and irresistible. It happens that such a psychological breakdown leads to a suicide attempt, but most often unsuccessful. And then, the once strong and independent person, now feeling like a worthless person, begins to recover, while gradually creating his image anew.
American physician and psychologist John Turner in his scientific works explains the close connection between concepts such as "I-concept" and "I-image". Imagining the end result of his own change, the individual builds up a chain of actions for himself, thanks to which, as he believes, he should restore his former abilities and self-confidence.
And at this moment there is not only a radical change in appearance, when everything is used, including plastic surgery. Also, the environment of a person, the scope of his activity, lifestyle and place of residence are changing. Transforming himself, such an individual suddenly breaks up with old friends, quits a prestigious job, becomes a vegetarian or goes to a religious sect, permanently moves to another city or even to a distant country. And only after completing this external and necessarily internal "rebirth", forcing himself to forget his former love and life, such a person comes to a certain harmony with himself.
This is why people usually try to change their image after breaking up; it psychologically helps them start living anew and find love again.