“I have been married for 8 years, all this time my husband has been cheating on me. A couple of times I caught him almost red-handed. She offered me a divorce several times, but he returned me anyway. He says that he cannot restrain his passion, that he loves me, but he also needs someone else. I don't feel sexy enough because I can't
spouse to satisfy. Otherwise, he is a great husband and father, we have a great relationship. So I think whether it is worth ruining the family because of his betrayal. On the other hand, now I cannot trust him. It seems that he is ready to peck at every woman passing by, it humiliates me so much. " Natalia, 34 years old
- Good day, Natalia. If your husband is obsessed with having sex with different women and at the same time everything is fine with him in bed, then most likely we are talking about sexual addiction. There is a certain category of people who find it very difficult to observe monogamy. If they do come to her and get married or get married, then a special program of a kind of rehabilitation is often required, built on the principle of "12 steps of addiction treatment."
However, the husband must make the decision to start fighting his addiction on his own; this program cannot be forcibly imposed. If, despite his betrayal, you still decide to keep the relationship, adhere to three basic rules.
Don't be silent about your feelings. If you found out about another betrayal and this information brought pain - you have the right to express your aggression, anger and resentment. After all, what happened is not your fault, but it was you who were hurt.
Try to refrain from intimacy for the duration of the showdown. Until you find a solution for yourself - whether you are ready to continue living with your spouse or it is still better for him to get rid of addiction - sex is excluded. Until you feel like you have forgiven him and are ready for it. Up to this point, he can go in for sports, meditation, therapy.
Remember, his betrayal is his choice and his decision, and in no way depends on you. Do not take responsibility for his behavior, do not seek to control every step. By the way, some men with sexual addiction even like control - their vigilant attention invigorates them. Don't turn yourself into a perpetual policeman.
But these are only the first aid rules. In order to fully understand why you agree to such a relationship, you need to go through a course of meetings with a psychologist.
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