The ex-husband of the popular singer Lolita Dmitry Ivanov said that they divorced due to too rare meetings and being busy. According to him, the spouses moved away from each other.
"Evening Moscow" decided to find out how much time spouses should devote to each other so that their love story does not end in the same scenario.
Clinical psychologist Mikhail Khors argues that people who believe that there should be no crises in family life are deeply mistaken. The expert assures that as a person, an adult understands that family life consists of conflicts, and of joys, and mutual claims and mutual pleasure.
- A couple who decided to live like in a fairy tale about Cinderella, striving for a perfect marriage, where there are no crises and conflicts, is doomed. Because there is no such family life. And vice versa, when a person is prepared in advance for crises, he will behave more efficiently, and he will hear his partner better, and it will be easier for him to get out of this crisis.
As for the time that people should devote to each other, everything depends on themselves, the specialist specifies.
- If the spouses want to see each other, then they find an opportunity, and if not, they begin to cover up their unwillingness with various factors: work, fatigue, workload. And then the question arises: "Why do you allow work to manage what is valuable to you?" After all, an intelligent person is the one who controls his time, and not vice versa.
The expert notes that similar situations arise when the value of the family decreases, and things appear that replace this value.
- Many people getting married mistakenly believe that now they have found a personal companion who will fully understand him in everything. This is not a fantasy, and it is useless to strive for it. There is always room for disagreements and misunderstandings, you just don't need to make a big problem out of it, the chorus continues.
The psychologist recommends giving your soulmate 2-3 hours a day, even with the toughest workload. And in order to compensate for the lack of communication, on weekends you need to go on joint trips, moreover, preferably to uncrowded picturesque places.
- Find some significant locations for the two of you that only you will know about. This will strengthen your feelings even more. Do not be afraid of conflict situations, this is one of the sure signs of a normal family, be honest with each other and support in difficult and crisis situations,”Khors summed up.