Runaway brides are a thing of the past. Today women have to worry about the groom running away from the altar. A Pew Research study showed that only 29% of the men surveyed are ready for a wedding. We will tell you where male gamophobia comes from.
Monogamy is unnatural
Different species of the animal world adhere to monogamy or polygamy. The first is characteristic mainly of the "winged" family. According to ornithologists, about 90% of birds are monogamous and find a partner for themselves once and for life. As for mammals, to which class we belong, then among them only 3-5% of species are loyal to their partner, for example, wolves. And then the exceptions are common.
As for a person, according to the doctor of psychology, Christopher Ryan, he can be monogamous, but by virtue of his choice, and not a natural message. As Rhian says, "Being a vegetarian doesn't mean you don't like the smell of meat."
By the way, about the smell. According to another study, polygamy and monogamy of a person is determined not only by the amount of certain hormones in the blood, but also by the sensitivity to these hormones. Roughly speaking, a person senses these smells and, in accordance with his own hormonal background, decides how to react.
One for 50 years?
Today, the rate of unwillingness of people to marry grows in proportion to the decrease in the death rate. Even 100 years ago, the chance that a spouse would lose their partner was high.
According to historian Robert Fussier, in the Middle Ages, a woman became pregnant about every 18 months, which did not have a positive effect on her health.
Poor hygiene, low level of medicine and other other factors led to the fact that death separated the lovers prematurely. Well, then either a new marriage or an illegal relationship, but the partner changed in any case.
Today the average age for marriage is 28 for men and 26 for women. The average life expectancy is 70 years. The death rate is much lower, which means the chance of living to old age is greater. Thus, entering into a marriage relationship, a man really chooses his girlfriend for life. This means that the requirements for it are the most stringent. It's no joke, having a penchant for polygamy, to live your whole life with one person. The same can be said for women. As Dr. Christopher Ryan said: “It's time to stop thinking that men are from Venus and women are from Mars. The truth is, the men are from Africa and the women are from Africa."
This is the scary word "divorce"
Divorce is not seen by men as the best escape from stagnant relationships. As a sociological study from Cornwall University has shown, many men do not want to get married, fearing divorce. According to the results of a social survey, about 72% of young men and women said that they would probably have to face divorce in their lives. Unsurprisingly, with these expectations, marriage really does become a very unattractive prospect. It is not surprising that men in these conditions seriously hesitate in their decision. Prominent blogger Jessica Massa conducted a survey asking 22-35-year-old men how they feel about divorce. For the most part, the opinion was negative. "It's better not to rush than to be wrong." This, among other things, makes men not rush to the wedding.
Apart from divorces, men fear "marriages of convenience." Opinion polls have shown that men are unhappy with the growth of materialism among women. According to the respondents, today there are more and more ladies who value not feelings, but “the cost of a paid check in a restaurant”. Such, according to the respondents, perceive marriage not as a union of two people, but as a deal that provides them with a path to a better life.If we take the historical context, then such a phobia is a product of the modern world. Until the 19th century, when marriage for love ceased to be a dream, turning into reality, the deal was the second name of the marriage. It was a contract between two families, often without the knowledge of the newlyweds. And it's not just about the aristocracy. In sources devoted to marriage, until the 18th century, the word love is rarely found in the context of "passion" or "adoration." Basically, it's about respect and responsibility.
"Families would be stronger if spouses lived apart."
Friedrich Nietzsche expressed this idea in his time. Today more and more men (and women!) Agree with this postulate, preferring "guest marriage" to the traditional one. Partners can spend several days a week together, but are always free to go home. According to the candidate of medical sciences, Dila Yenikeyeva, in Russia this form of relationship is popular among working youth, people who are sensitive to their personal space. Psychologists do not have an unambiguous point of view about the "guest marriage". Someone argues that this allows you to maintain the novelty in the relationship, others believe that such couples have a short joint future. Moreover, the longer, the harder it will be for a man to give up his usual freedom.