Why Some Men Like Older Women

Table of contents:

Why Some Men Like Older Women
Why Some Men Like Older Women

Video: Why Some Men Like Older Women

Video: Why Some Men Like Older Women
Video: 4 Surprising Reasons Men Love Dating Older Women 2023, March

A group of scientists from Colorado studied the relationship between mature men and young girls and came to the conclusion that the reasons for such unions are not only materially based. "Evening Moscow", in turn, asked the question - what motivates young people who prefer to date women older than themselves? An expert on family and marriage, Valentina Zakotsola, helped to sort out the situation.

Valentina, you have been helping people find a mate for many years. How often do men turn to you to find a woman 5, 10, 20 years older than themselves?

- Half of men do not voice age restrictions at all. About 40 percent are looking for girls younger, 10 percent - prefer to build relationships with their peers. Of course, as you can see, many people want to date young people. But if about 5 years ago the overwhelming majority of men in search dreamed of young slender models, today many of them have moved the bar, for example, from 25 to 35-38.

What are the reasons guys choose older women? How often are such alliances concluded "of convenience"?

- There are those who want to raise their social status at the expense of an adult, self-sufficient woman. But I will say that in our time, it is no longer so common to make alliances for profit. Now people have begun to feel each other to a greater extent, to focus on being comfortable, cozy, so that a person has a "close" energy And based on this, build relationships. Of course, the material basis is also important for many, since we live in the material world. But the main reasons lie in the field of psychology. We all come from childhood. If, for example, the mother of a young man was 10-15 years older than his father, this is normal for him, for example, and he can build his personal life according to the same canons.

That is, such men are looking for a mother in a woman?

- Yes. Or they are just looking for a strong partner, self-sufficient. Although now many young girls themselves build and develop businesses, and earn money. Now young people are great, there are very strong personalities, and it pleases.

Maybe the fact is that an adult woman has more experience - in all areas

- Yes, it also plays a role. Next to such a man develops. And then there are young guys who are inside much older than their age - just uncles, grandfathers. I have an acquaintance, the son of an oligarch, he is 28 years old. So he behaves in communication like a 45-year-old man - so constructive, serious, mature. Even his clothing style is far from youthful. And he needs a woman for the family, home, maybe older. He wants to build a model of the family in the likeness of the parent. Almost everyone has a family model, and it should be. If it is not there - often there is a "bias" in one direction or another, a person is looking for different options.

I wonder what is the optimal age difference? From when will this relationship definitely not have a future? If a woman is 20, 30, 40 years older?

- You see, I cannot answer this question, and no one can, because we are not gods. Who knows if people will succeed or not? I know a couple: she is 39, he is 23. His mother, too, was older than his father. This couple had a child, everything is fine with them. This is all individual. You can't just say, "This relationship is doomed." In no case. See, for example, how harmoniously Pugacheva and Galkin built their relationship - as far as we can see. They are happy, they raise their children in love. Alla Borisovna has a lot of life experience, which she shares with Maxim, and she, in turn, needs young energy. In such a relationship, people use each other - in a good sense of the word. And everyone chooses what is comfortable for him.

Maybe this is partly PR

- Maybe, but if we talk not about the stars, but about those who live a simpler life, now many women look gorgeous at 45. And among 30-year-olds there are unkempt "aunt-mochi" who "seize" their problems … It all depends on the inner mood of the girl. The worst thing is when there is no goal, there is no development. For many men, inner strength, intellect, and a woman's interest in the world are much more important than age; when there is something to talk about and something to do together. Yes, even to conduct a joint business.

The first lady of France is 24 years older than her husband, she is already 66. How can you explain this marriage?

- It is necessary to understand in their personal life, in childhood, in upbringing, why this happened. I don’t know the biography of Macron and his wife that deeply, so I don’t presume to judge. But this only emphasizes and shows that the cases are unlike one another.

Do women often state that they want to find a partner or husband 5-10-20 years younger?

- Yes, I regularly come across such requests, especially from a businesswoman. They need energy. There is still such a moment - impotence, as a disease, "rejuvenated", at the age of 25 young people often already have problems. The sexual component is also important, for men and women.

There are people who single out attraction to mature women as a separate orientation. Do you think this is a variant of the norm

- For someone like, again. Some say: "I do not want someone younger than myself, because I understand that it will not be long and obviously he will leave me one day." Although how to understand for a long time or not? Sometimes we do not know what will happen tomorrow, but here we are talking about years or even all of life. And others do not want for another reason. It is important for them that a man be the same age, in his youth and in maturity, he read the same books, watched the same films, so that there was something to talk about and it would be easier to go through life. Everyone is so different. And everyone chooses his own, and I do not dissuade anyone … After all, this is a personal choice - her or his. And only by trial and error, they can understand whether it is correct or not. My position is this: live today, live now and rejoice.

Popular by topic