Falling in love until dizzy so that once and for life, many dream, but not always feelings are mutual or even turned to the person who is not worthy of it. And what now, not to get married and wait for your soul mate? Not at all. Psychologists say that it is very possible to go down the aisle with a person for whom you do not have strong feelings. Details - in the material Passion.ru.
"He's a good guy, but what about love?"
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Skeptics point out that a "marriage of convenience" has no chance, that's whether it's an alliance for love, when, as they say, with a loved one, paradise and in a hut. That is how it is, but, according to experts, soon after the start of the relationship, the hut is no longer suitable and you want something more impressive. This is where resentments and misunderstandings begin. The chosen one quite reasonably wonders what is wrong, because before everything suited you. And it will be good if in the end it will be possible to find a solution to the problem and move forward together towards a common future. Otherwise, the chosen one may simply leave, believing that you are showing too high expectations for him, which he is not able to fulfill. As for "by calculation", then there are also pitfalls. Yes, many moments can be avoided precisely because everything will be discussed at the very beginning of the relationship. But at the same time, you need to realize that you will have to spend a lot of time with a person for whom you do not have strong feelings. Yes, love can develop over time, but for this you will have to work hard for both of you.
"No rose-colored glasses and disappointed expectations"
As the saying goes, you do not take a pig in a poke (just like your partner), you clearly understand what you expect from your partner and what he, in turn, expects from you. Here we are talking more about partnerships, about the exchange of equal for equal, and not about emotional attachment, when in the heat of feelings you literally cannot breathe on your chosen one and you think that he belongs entirely to you, without a trace. This, according to psychologists, often leads to disappointment and disappointed expectations (for example, the other half at some point may rebel and show that she is completely independent and independent). In a relationship of convenience, this is a priori excluded. Two mature individuals voluntarily enter into an alliance, understanding what obligations will fall on them and what personal boundaries they will not have to violate in any case.
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"Instead of going to the left - common values"
According to experts, love lives for three years, and if then it did not transform into something deeper and more valuable, then there is no point in torturing each other and waiting for a little more, and a miracle will happen. Alas, if the passion has died out and nothing more binds you, then it is unlikely that it will be possible to rekindle the flame and return the state that you had at the very beginning of the relationship. Then many couples either begin to practice hiking to the left, or take a break in the relationship, or scatter altogether, as if nothing connected them. It's another matter if you got closer gradually, slowly recognized each other and revealed those character traits that appeal to you. Yes, it may happen that negative moments will also surface, but you can calmly weigh everything and find a solution that will suit both you and your chosen one. The main thing is that you have a common goal and an understanding of how to achieve it. And you also have similar views and values, which makes your union (even if by calculation) more durable and promising.
"Possibility to negotiate on the shore"
By entering into a relationship "of convenience", you have the opportunity to discuss with your partner all the critical moments in advance, so that later it will not come as a surprise to you, but at the same time find a compromise on controversial issues if such issues arise. This, according to psychologists, will help to avoid conflicts and disputes in the future, which necessarily arise at the time of grinding between lovers. It also often happens that a relationship that began "by design" gradually develops into true love and affection. After all, you spend a lot of time with a person, get to know him from one side or another and fall in love (but not with an invented image, but with a specific person, with his own merits and demerits).
"Rationality, not an emotional impulse"
Psychologists assure that if your brain is not clouded with love and passion, you can make informed decisions, and not succumb to momentary weaknesses and desires. Therefore, you are more rational in approaching the idea of starting a family, understanding what the pros and cons are in store for you in a "marriage of convenience." On the other hand, you will have no one to blame if suddenly everything turns out not the way you originally imagined. In this case, you will have to rely only on yourself and your wisdom (well, and on the adequacy of your partner, who will also try to make every effort to make your "marriage of convenience" comfortable and promising for both of you).
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"The ability to develop independently, without interfering with each other"
Due to the fact that there is no struggle for leadership in your couple (after all, you initially discussed everything on the shore, made a balanced decision and agreed on who would have the reins of government), you can calmly develop each in your own field, without interfering with each other and not jealous of a partner for his hobbies, as is often the case between lovers. You are sure that each of you is a self-sufficient person who needs a certain freedom and the opportunity to do what you love.
"Informed choice and support"
When there are no emotional swings and disappointments that your partner did not live up to your expectations, it is time for acceptance and mutual respect. In other words, you initially do not create any illusions about your partner, and therefore you do not experience mental anguish if something suddenly goes wrong. Both of you consciously made your choice and are ready to support each other in any situation, because you know that this is the key to a mature and strong relationship (and not ardent confessions, scenes of jealousy and endless showdowns about who loves whom more and for what).
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